It's Just a Friendly Game of Baseball
Hey Bill, talking out of your ass doesn't make you a ventriloquist!!
If I have one criticism of Hip Hop nowadays - besides the sub-par lyricists who are held up as if they were modern day urban versions of Ernest Hemingway; Hip Hop journalists who on one hand want to lecture you on what real Hip Hop is, but then on the other hand talk about how there will always be a special place in their heart for Chamillionaire's album; and radio so unbearable that it makes you want to visit your local Clear Channel affiliate with a trench-coat, artillery, and an extremely irritable attitude - is the fact that Hip Hop is the only topic on which people who know nothing about it are allowed to speak as if they are authorities on the subject. You don't turn on your television set and witness a dentist breaking down the intricacies of brain surgery. You wouldn't hear an ice skating champion dissect a prevent defense or certain blitz packages. And nothing would be more of an eye-rolling endeavor than hearing Courtney Love yap about the wonderful world of sobriety. So when I hear Bill O'Reilly - a man so blotchy that many times I get him confused with the penis of a dog in heat - criticize Hip Hop as if it's an airborne disease, I want nothing more than to hit him in the mouth while angrily clutching a role of quarters.
Listen, I'm one of the first guys to admit that there are many examples of Hip Hop that are pretty indefensible, verbal expressions of misogyny and violence that even make this sex-ohlic with a hair-trigger temper shake his head in disgust. But the reason I don't accept said criticisms from the likes of O'Reilly is because its painfully obvious that his knowledge of Hip Hop could fill up a thimble. He's one of those asshats that tries to blame popular culture for the decaying of society. And by the words he uses - such as "those guys" and other general terms - you can just tell that he's only attacking the genre because even FOX news won't allow him to call black men N*ggers.
So, because he knows that spewing racial epithets on the air might get his mangy ass kidnapped, Bill acts as if he is some sort of bouncer when it comes to pop culture, alerting us to all the riff-raff for the betterment of mankind as a whole. He even calls himself a "Culture Warrior" - which, in my honest opinion, is a code word for negligent parents who want to blame a movie or a rap song for their kids being gigantic fucking zeroes. I always find it funny that for a guy who is a part of a political party that preaches personal responsibility and pulling one's self up by the boot straps, he sure passes blame on questionable rap lyrics as the reason why demon seeds all across America are sucking on the glass dick, dabbling in criminality, and, worst of all, dating a black guy.
So when I saw this clip the other day, reminding me of his on-going feud with Ludacris, it was surprising to me how he lacked an understanding of hyperbole, not to mention his token black guest that apparently wanted to ban the "N-word" (and half of Webster's dictionary along with it). I quickly concluded that I would use my platform on VIBE to serve Mr. O'Reilly with some good old fashioned chin music.
What's chin music, you ask? Basically, it's a message that a pitcher sends to a batter who is crowding the plate; the pitcher throws a fastball near the batter's head to let him know that he better back the hell up, or the next pitch will result in him dining on a steady diet of apple sauce and jello for a few weeks. Since Bill has been "crowding the plate" with his hypocrisy for far too long now, allow me to give you some things to think about whenever he waxes poetic about how bad Ludacris is.
Bill the Beloved Husband:
* In October of 2004, Andrea Mackris filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against O'Reilly, claiming that he had not only made inappropriate references to threesomes, vibrators, and masturbation, he also had a weird fantasy of sticking a loofah inside her.
Bill the Historian:
* He claimed that the U.S Troops committed the Malmedy Massacre. It was actually the German Waffen-SS troops that massacred eighty-four surrendering American soldiers. So supporting the troops only includes those presently in battle? I get it.
Bill the Hitman:
*In a recorded conversion with Andrea Mackris, O'Reilly made a telling reference to having Al Franken killed. Hey Bill, show Ludacris what that gangsta shit is all about!
Bill the Child Advocate:
* Here is Bill talking about Shawn Hornbeck's kidnapping: "The situation here for this kid looks to me to be a lot more fun than what he had under his old parents. He didn't have to go to school. He could run around and do whatever he wanted." Ludacris endorses fornication and you Bill endorses pedophilia, interesting...
Bill's Knowledge of Black folks:
* When discussing Barack Obama: "Instead of black and white Americans coming together, white Americans are terrified. They're terrified. Now we can't even say you're articulate?" Does anyone else get the feeling that Bill is a walking dictionary of Black history facts?
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Comments
1.
Brother OMi says:
I watch good ol' bill just to get a laugh. dude is so full of himself. in that outfoxed movie, he went off the deep end when dude checked him. it was worth ...well i checked out from the library
02/22/2007 at 12:34 AM
2.
Simplenigma says:
Hit him in the mouth while clutching a roll of quarters??? C'mon HC, you can do better 'n that. What about the WWF chair, or going Sean Penn on his ass? LOL.
Billy O is like a fart in a mitt...he's just out there lingering, but serves no purpose except to offend your senses.
IMO, his kind doesn't even deserve a rebuttal or even a discourse on his behavior...you can't, after all reason with someone you think is an idiot.
02/21/2007 at 2:47 PM