Erykah Badu's Vagina Can Save Hip Hop.
I'm fully aware that the title that I chose for this piece has self-respecting women everywhere collectively cringing at their computer screens. The moment the good people at Vibe decide to put this piece on their website I can envision a gang of feminists congregating at some undisclosed location somewhere - angrily going over diagrams of my house, debating whats the best entry point to use before snatching me from the mortal coil. Proud female bloggers that are carrying on the great traditions of Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem are possibly linking to this particular entry as a shining example to their readers on how big of a pig I am on the strength of the title alone - reminiscent of the career catholics who picketed Kevin Smith's "Dogma" without ever viewing a single frame of the film. Granted, since I'm rather allergic to the knee-jerk reactionary types, people who can't relax their defenses for one solitary moment piss me off like bad bladders - my instinct is to just say "fuck em'" and take a piss on their feminist sensibilities by very casually telling them "Relax Sugar-tits!!" But I won't do that, there are so many women in my area that have outed me on a site entitled "don't date him girl(dot)com" that I suddenly want to offer an olive branch to my female readership - so judge this piece after you've read it, if you still think I'm a steaming pile of shit while reading the final sentence then so be it.
Now back to the title. Based on all the great Hip Hop and Hip Hop themed shows my friends have introduced to me as of late, my "Hip Hop Is Dead" stance that I've lived by for the past couple of years has softened quite a bit - but I'd still argue that even the most optimistic fan of the genre would agree that Hip Hop still has a shitload of problems. As a faithful soldier who can sometimes be found saluting whenever Big Daddy Kane's "Raw" or Eric B and Rakim's "Check out my Melody" come on, I'm shocked at what passes for Hip Hop nowadays - if the music and lack of lyricism weren't bad enough, the minstrel show names that these sons of bitches go by is such an outright embarrassment. (Mims, Jibbs, Rich Boy, Webbie, Boosie, Huey) Not for nothing, but if there is ever a race war and I happen to be one of the first hostages taken somehow - I'm giving up the location of those motherfuckers first, fuck what you heard. Then there's that horrible "Party like a Rockstar" song - career pedophiles have better records than that - outside of it being abysmal, it's a slap in the face of the million of us true Hip Hop fans out here who also pray to the gods of rock.(I get the sneaking suspicion that those bottom-dwellers wouldn't know who "Bad Brains" were if I held a loaded bazooka to their heads while holding the "I Against I" record in my other hand) People being duped into feeling that lil Wayne is an actual lyricist, reputable Hip Hop publications covering a rap beef between two fucking zeroes as if it was tantamount to The Cold War - I'd never condone suicide, but I'd imagine a person seriously questioning their reason to live after listening to their locally run ClearChannel station for any extended period of time.
Just when I was beginning to think that all was lost, that a culture that I've loved more than any girlfriend that I've ever had would be forever taken over by drooling lunatics and products of inbreeding - that's when an epiphany hit me like a bolt of lightning. "Erykah Badu's Vagina can save Hip Hop!!" It's not that far-fetched, is it? Who transformed Common from that "around the way" B-Boy to a conscious brother, wearing dashikis and whatnot, lighting incense, and coming off like a fucking bean-pie salesan in interviews? If her sweet loving spawned the cluster-fuck that was Common's "Electric Circus" - whatever she has between those light brown thighs could cure cancer, fuck Hip Hop. Then there's Mr. Andre 3000, who didn't even go by that name, much less make it a habit of dressing like one of Parliament Funkadelic - and wearing kilts(see the new UGK video featuring Outkast) until he hooked up with Ms. Badu as well. Ladies and Gentlemen, Erykah Badu can lead us to the promised land. If anyone can reverse the effect that sub-par wordsmiths and minstrel rappers have had on the Hip Hop landscape, I know she can.
Matter of fact, maybe my claiming that her "Vagina" can save Hip Hop is a bit on the crass side, lets just say that I'm confident that her DNA can save Hip Hop. All we need now is for some rogue scientist to clone Ms. Badu's DNA, distribute it throughout our nation's water supply system a la the evil plot in "Batman Begins" - and before you know it, calling yourself an MC or a DJ will be something to be proud of again.
de.licio.us
digg
Furl
Reddit
YahooMyWeb
Comments
1.
Queenie Jones (ok...so this is really my last time...lol) says:
In thsi respect brotha...because I had no idea about your writings and your style of writing, I just responded in the way that I felt..... Still I meant no disrespect to U...maybe I should hav egiven U a chance before i got ready to (fill in the blank).... Because I now understand the way in which U write, I can read this from another perspective...keep in mind though....and still no disrespect 2 u....not everyone is familiar with Ure writing...so I just ask that U keep those of us in mind when u write.... I understand the point U tried to make off of my point with the whack ass "Oochie Wally" song...but what stands out in this debate is that...i'm not an HC reader so for me to make a "this is a comedy piece" call on your writing would be hard, because I'm not familiar with U... I am familiar with Nas to know that he was going thru something.... but for me to deem it as being hot, because i am a fan is totally biased and whack on my behalf....that was what I was saying to your loyal readers....dotcom.diva
Other than that...Brotha keep writing..I am proud of what U are doing and honestly....I feel like inspite of the way I may feel about certain things, U still have engaged me... and for that I appreciate U!!!! Thank U for your positive feedback.......Peace
07/16/2007 at 5:55 AM
2.
jess says:
Marry me.
07/10/2007 at 11:01 PM
3.
HuanityCritic says:
"Thats like me saying Nas's song "Occhie Wally" was the shit just because I love "It Was Written" or just about any other CD that he's dropped......how do You say it???? (GASP!!)..."
But you just got caught in your own explanation. I would imagine that people who were long time Nas fans could forgive "Oochie Wally", because they already know first hand that the brother has other weapons in his rap repertoire. No one said that you had to like this piece based on my others, but when you aren't used to my writing style or my particular viewpoint - the hostility seems rather unfocused.
"HC, in my unwanted opinion, wasted the whole article just to make his point in the last paragraph....But one might say who cares????.."
I'll do you better, I pretty much summed the whole piece up in the titles. For those who are honest with themselves will admit, they probably knew where I was going with it before they started reading. I'm sorry that a post titled "Erykah's Vagina Can save Hip Hop" didn't please your journalistic sensibilities - but at the end of the day, was it even supposed to??
"I was just tryin' to find unbiased dialouge...I need facts...but I can't find it here..."
Not for nothing, but I don't ever think you'll find the facts that you are looking for in a comedy piece - regardless if you laughed or not. Again with the "facts" argument, I thought we already covered this?? Peace.
07/08/2007 at 1:32 AM
4.
HumanityCritic says:
"I didn't judge your article based on the title....There would have been no purpose in reading it...ya dig???"
I really hope so, because your only point of contentions were the title and two lines where I was trying to be funny..
"I actually read the article hoping to find something good, interesting and possibly funny...but I didn't"
Me disappointing women is nothing knew, if I only had a dollar for every time I was flashed a violent eye-roll after dropping my pants. I guess you can't please everyone.
"To ask me if the word Vagina is disrespectful totally goes beyond the point of women being objectified by body parts"
..but any objectification outside of my post has nothing to do with me. Why crucify me for the sins of others?
"I've never heard your name before and I've never read an article other than this one either...So to refer to your other blogs is irrelevant to me right now."
It's still very relevant, especially when you accuse someone of disrespecting women. Many of the things that I have written eloquently states my position on the matter, and to define someone on a piece meant to be humorous is sort of premature. No one would judge a person entirely based on random thoughts or musings, so my posting history is pretty relevant.
"Like I said I didn't expect U to agree with my response...just like I'm sure U don't expect me to find U funny."
I think the title of the piece guaranteed that..
"I just get tired of women's power, worth and acceptance by others being based on body parts...thats all I'm really saying..."
But I could be just as exhausted by being lectured every time I writer a somewhat provacative post - based on the strength of the millions of men before me who disrespected women. At the end of the day, this post didn't have anything to do with a woman's "worth, power, acceptance" or anything of that ilk - it was about my feeling that Erykah's "homecooking" can save Hip Hip, based on the way brothers she's been with have acted. Peace.
Humanity F Critic
07/08/2007 at 1:17 AM
5.
Queenie Jones (last time I promise) says:
@ dotcomdiva
I just wanted to say thank u for your beyond genius insight on the vagina....I'm gonna make an appointment with my gynecologist just to tell her that I learned something new today! I am eternally grateful to U sistah...
Quick question for U since you're droppin' so much science to complete super-sensitive imbecile such as myself....Isn't it a little biased to judge the content on this particular blog on his others?????
"And really, if you're that offended by the use of the word, or the content of the post, then I just have to conclude that you don't know the author of this blog very well."
Thats like me saying Nas's song "Occhie Wally" was the shit just because I love "It Was Written" or just about any other CD that he's dropped......how do You say it???? (GASP!!)...
HC, in my unwanted opinion, wasted the whole article just to make his point in the last paragraph....But one might say who cares????...Ure right...none of this is important...I was just tryin' to find unbiased dialouge...I need facts...but I can't find it here...Oh well........whatever...But U Have a great day anyway....Peace ;)
07/07/2007 at 8:46 AM
6.
Anonymous says:
@ dotcomdiva
I just wanted to say thank u for your beyond genius insight on the vagina....I'm gonna make an appointment with my gynecologist just to tell her that I learned something new today! I am eternally grateful to U sistah...
Quick question for U since you're droppin' so much science....Isn't it a little biased to judge the content on this particular article on his others?????
"And really, if you're that offended by the use of the word, or the content of the post, then I just have to conclude that you don't know the author of this blog very well."
Thats like saying me saying Nas's song "Occhie Wally" was the shit just because I love "It Was Written" or just about any other CD that he has dropped......how do You say it???? (GASP!!)...
HC, in my unwanted opinion, wasted the whole article just to make his point in the last paragraph....But one might say who cares????...Ure right...none of this is important...I was just tryin' to find unbiased dialouge...I need facts...but I can't find it here...Oh well........whatever...But U Have a great day anyway....Peace ;)
07/07/2007 at 8:41 AM
7.
Queenie Jones says:
No no no brotha...not at all am I offended by your response or to your article in its entirety.....And no I'm not shittin' U either....
I didn't judge your article based on the title....There would have been no purpose in reading it...ya dig???
I actually read the article hoping to find something good, interesting and possibly funny...but I didn't...and that had nothing to do with your title....I'm not a power trippin' feminist...I am just a woman....
To ask me if the word Vagina is disrespectful totally goes beyond the point of women being objectified by body parts...You seem intelligent...Why is that so hard to understand??
In your response I get the impression that Ure tryin' to explain that you're not sexist....Well if you read everything that I wrote, U would have felt no need to explain that again....so let me help U out....I wrote:
"what happened to integrity and pride???...Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that U don't have any at all...I don't know U brotha and hopefully after this response I'll get to know U betta for positive gain..."
I've never heard your name before and I've never read an article other than this one either...So to refer to your other blogs is irrelevant to me right now....
Like I said I didn't expect U to agree with my response...just like I'm sure U don't expect me to find U funny...
Its just my point of view...thats all...Vagina isn't a disrespectful word....thanks for mapping that out for me buddy! ;)
I just get tired of women's power, worth and acceptance by others being based on body parts...thats all I'm really saying...
if this isn't the way U normally write maybe I'll check some other blogs out...
just wasn't feelin' this one.....
Peace
07/07/2007 at 12:26 AM
8.
dotcomdiva says:
Ok, seriously, anyone who was genuinely upset by either the title or the content of your ode to Ms. Badu needs to calm down. Guess what, people... vagina is not a bad word. (GASP!!) Its actually the proper name for that particular part of the female anatomy. Seriously, we're all grown-ups here. And if your 6th grade sex ed teacher can say vagina, I think its ok for cyberspace.
And really, if you're that offended by the use of the word, or the content of the post, then I just have to conclude that you don't know the author of this blog very well. Yes, he can be a bit crass and inappropriate at times, but that's kind of what he does. And it is clearly a literary tool used to illustrate his point (see humor and satire). Chill out, agree to disagree and enjoy the post for what it is.
But as for me, HC, I gotta agree with you content wise. Personally, I've always believed that Erykah must possess what I like to refer to as "kryptonite coochie". Makes even the hardest MC weak. How else do you explain the fine furniture propper-upper that is Electric Circus? I mean Common went from 40s to crochet sweaters. Dre went from Braves t-shirts and fitteds to football shoulder pads and furry genie pants. Coincidence? I think not.
07/03/2007 at 4:47 AM
9.
Majesty says:
Critic keep doing your thang, bruh!! You write you're blogs in your opinion and for your audiences entertainment!! Not shittin' on the young lady who you responded to, but she took the title alone and wore her heart on her sleeve!! come on ma, it's just like radio, tv, books or what have you, if the shit bothers you why read, hear or watch the so called offensive material?? Playboi, keep doin you and whoever gets sensitive about this material, in all respects, blow it out ya ass!!
Majesty, Cashville baby!!
07/02/2007 at 9:15 PM
10.
Humanity F Critic says:
@ Queenie:
Queenie, thank you for the response - I knew that I would get some negative reaction to said piece, I became totally at peace with that as soon as the last word was typed. I totally appreciate you making your thoughts be beard(or read) - that being said, I get the sneaking suspicion that you made your mind up after you read the title. Primarily based on the reasons you so eloquently used in your response to the post.
Like the ""validity"" argument? I get the fact that you didn't like the piece, that you probably think that I was raised in a whorehouse somewhere - that I haven't fully evolved yet, my knuckles dragging on the ground when I'm not clubbing my women over the head. But this was my opinion, in what other realm of writing does a person have to use source materials for editorializing? If I was covering the corruption of a local government official I'd have to have sources, proof of financial transactions - proof that the funds that were supposed to go to educational programs were actually lining some fat-cat's pocket. I'd have to have my bases covered if I was doing such a piece, but I wasn't - Just a satirical piece of the power of Ms. Badu's vagina to save Hip Hop. But this line that you wrote kind of stuck out to me as well:
""...the assumption is that Ms. Badu tranformed this two very scrumptous men into to something that mainstream "black" cultures thinks is "weird"...""
Just like its not a stretch that you assumed to know all about me based on a posts title, I'm going to assume as well and say that this is the only piece of mine that you read. If you never read another word of mine in post form, most of my commentary is about being one of those so-called "weirdo's" in the black community - thinking that I would slam said quirky-ness is ridiculous. Lets move on:
"".I just think the title lacks class....Women are objectified all of the time...some women love to be objectified...but to refer to someone like Ms. Badu in a way like this seems disrespectful to me....""
I have to ask, when did become disrespectful for a man to even utter the word ""Vagina""? - because that seems to be your only point of contention here.
""I'm kinda tired of people using bullshit ass gimmicks to get attention drawn to themselves....they do it with hip hop and I feel like you're doing it with this article........""
But that's akin to being pissed at the business owner for handing out flyers to his establishment, or getting mad at someone for making a commercial for their product - or being disgusted at a movie company for peddling their wears in the form of a movie trailer. I might not be the best wordsmith that ever owned a laptop, but I'd imagine that the point of writing something online is to get people to read it - I could be wrong though. Also, I get the fact that the "vagina" in the title disturbs you, I do - but its not like the meat of the article was about something entirely different. If there was deception involved I'd understand, like me naming the piece "Erykah Badu's Vagina can save Hip Hop" when the actual article was about my vast stamp collection.
""I mean I understand you gotta do what U gotta do...but what happened to integrity and pride???...""
It might have flown out the same window that your sense of humor did - I mean, you went on to quote me twice in an attempt to put an exclamation point on you not liking the post, I dig that - but those were lines where I was obviously being a prick for the sake of a laugh.
""my instinct is to just say "fuck em'" and take a piss on their feminist sensibilities by very casually telling them "Relax Sugar-tits!!"....."" and
""whatever she has between those light brown thighs could cure cancer, fuck Hip Hop... Matter of fact, maybe my claiming that her "Vagina" can save Hip Hop is a bit on the crass side""
I've got to ask you respectively sister, are you shitting me? Listen, I'm glad that you took the time to respond - and this response isn't meant to disrespect you at all. I just hope that the next time you read one of my blogs, if you don't I completely understand, that you don't judge the entire piece based on the title alone. Take care, have a great day..
Humanity F Critic
07/02/2007 at 4:34 PM
11.
Belve says:
Ok, I had to read the article and while I think the title is crass -- even for you HC -- you put my mind into space to think outside of the norm.
1st let me say, I for one don't think her vagina did either of these gents any favors. Common was always a bit left of normal and their relationship can right after he pimp-slapped ice Cube on wax. She calmed him down and I do believe that is why Electric circus was such a total waste of time. Andre3000 has always been the different one in the group and I think it has only been the guidance of Big Boi that made the group great. Common at the time didn't have a influence to make him stay focused, which is why Common is now hitting his stride with Kayne giving him the gentle direction he needs.
that being said, it is vagina the world over that will save Hip Hop. I will say this .. name a female artist out these days that isn't considered underground that has skills. Now take out the ones that focus more lyrically and/or in their common outlook on fashion. i will wait -- yeah hard isn't it and I think that is the problem.
This will be sexist and I apologize now for it. But there has been no greater skill enhancer in the world of Hip Hop than saying to a guy, That girl has more skill than you. The Roxannes, MC Lyte, Queen Latifah (pre-accident and movie career), the Brat (pre-breast discovery). I am not saying that these and many other ladies didn't have skills, i am saying telling a wack rapper that some lady can rip you and them knowing its true will discourage wackness from spreading.
Sorry about the blog in the comment section, I just got to thinking and couldn't stop.
07/02/2007 at 7:45 AM
12.
Queenie Jones says:
Okay Okay...so I hear where you're coming from right....I understand your angle and everything, I just thought that the article leaned closer to the unintelligent side for me....I mean no disrespect to you at all....I'm not trying to be offensive in anyway, I'm just really being honest and on the flip side to that you can feel as free as U want to be honest with me also.....
I felt like this article lacked validity...the assumption is that Ms. Badu tranformed this two very scrumptous men into to something that mainstream "black" cultures thinks is "weird"...I say assumption, because they could have very well been that way all of the time and she just made them feel comfortable enough to be themselves...but thats not really why i chose to respond to this blog. I don't really give a fuck about whether or not she influenced the change in them....
I chose to respond to it soley based on the title...which I believe U did on purpose because U knew it would attract attention to the article...Kudos for the plot..it worked..lol....
The reson why I'm not feeling it is not because I'm some super, power-trippin' aggressive, man-hatin' feminist...I just think the title lacks class....Women are objectified all of the time...some women love to be objectified...but to refer to someone like Ms. Badu in a way like this seems disrespectful to me....She represents empowerment, self-love and gentle strength in a dominating industrustry that aims to represent the opposite...
I'm kinda tired of people using bullshit ass gimmicks to get attention drawn to themselves....they do it with hip hop and I feel like you're doing it with this article........"whatever she has between those light brown thighs could cure cancer, fuck Hip Hop... Matter of fact, maybe my claiming that her "Vagina" can save Hip Hop is a bit on the crass side"....
I mean I understand you gotta do what U gotta do...but what happened to integrity and pride???...Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that U don't have any at all...I don't know U brotha and hopefully after this response I'll get to know U betta for positive gain....
But to say that hip hop is failing us and then to write an article like this, I feel like you're talking out of both sides of your mouth.....I'm not tryin' to shit on U, I applaud U for having a passion to write....I belive from what i read that U meant well by it....But as a reader it turned me off...
Honestly I don't expect U to care, after all U did say "my instinct is to just say "fuck em'" and take a piss on their feminist sensibilities by very casually telling them "Relax Sugar-tits!!".....
I just figued, I'd share...Thanx for reading...I'm open for a response...talk soon...Peace
07/02/2007 at 5:20 AM
13.
Anonymous says:
Okay Okay...so I hear where you're coming from right....I understand your angle and everything, I just thought that the article leaned closer to the unintelligent side for me....I mean no disrespect to you at all....I'm not trying to be offensive in anyway, I'm just really being honest and on the flip side to that you can feel as free as U want to be honest with me also.....
I felt like this article lacked validity...the assumption is that Ms. Badu tranformed this two very scrumptous men into to something that mainstream "black" cultures thinks is "weird"...I say assumption, because they could have very well been that way all of the time and she just made them feel comfortable enough to be themselves...but thats not really why i chose to respond to this blog. I don't really give a fuck about whether or not she influenced the change in them....
I chose to respond to it soley based on the title...which I believe U did on purpose because U knew it would attract attention to the article...Kudos for the plot..it worked..lol....
The reson why I'm not feeling it is not because I'm some super, power-trippin' aggressive, man-hatin' feminist...I just think the title lacks class....Women are objectified all of the time...some women love to be objectified...but to refer to someone like Ms. Badu in a way like this seems disrespectful to me....She represents empowerment, self-love and gentle strength in a dominating industrustry that aims to represent the opposite...
I'm kinda tired of people using bullshit ass gimmicks to get attention drawn to themselves....they do it with hip hop and I feel like you're doing it with this article........"whatever she has between those light brown thighs could cure cancer, fuck Hip Hop... Matter of fact, maybe my claiming that her "Vagina" can save Hip Hop is a bit on the crass side"....
I mean I understand you gotta do what U gotta do...but what happened to integrity and pride???...Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that U don't have any at all...I don't know U brotha and hopefully after this response I'll get to know U betta for positive gain....
But to say that hip hop is failing us and then to write an article like this, I feel like you're talking out of both sides of your mouth.....I'm not tryin' to shit on U, I applaud U for having a passion to write....I belive from what i read that U meant well by it....But as a reader it turned me off...
Honestly I don't expect U to care, after all U did say "my instinct is to just say "fuck em'" and take a piss on their feminist sensibilities by very casually telling them "Relax Sugar-tits!!".....
I just figued, I'd share...Thanx for reading...I'm open for a response...talk soon...Peace
07/02/2007 at 5:16 AM
14.
Sandria says:
Ya know, in a roundabout and VERY entertaining way I think you are on to something. And let me just say, as a sistah that also considers herself a feminist (I keep copies of VIBE and BITCH on my coffee table) your title didn't offend me at all. At first I thought it might've been a blgo about her outfit from the BET Awards (I hear the fellas were really lovin' it, lol). Who, but a Black women with confidence, grace, poise, vision, beauty and wisdom can save the world?!! If she can do that than most certainly she can save hip hop! I won't go into my Queen Afua testimony, but as women we have a great deal of power and many of us don't even know that. Erykah is a great example of a women who knows her power.
07/02/2007 at 3:47 AM
15.
Oshanae says:
Something have to save it becuase it getting ridiculous "party like a rock star" that song would have been alright when limp biskit was popular and further more i understand that hip-hop is a youth driven culture but we have to let it grow up a little bit just a little. For real y'all let it grow it was trying in the ninties then 97 happened and now where stuck in the jiggy era ice age damn u shiney suit man....LOL
07/01/2007 at 6:44 PM
16.
Dantresomi says:
funny blog but reaching, be. we just need to turn BET/MTV/Clearchannel off to save hip hop.
07/01/2007 at 4:24 PM
17.
Anonymous says:
Very well said...
07/01/2007 at 5:59 AM
18.
Anonymous says:
Very well said...
07/01/2007 at 5:59 AM
19.
Katchin05 says:
Ok, so now that we have a plan, how do we set this into motion?
07/01/2007 at 4:24 AM
20.
Glenn Johnson says:
This is what I'm talking about. A blogger with enough balls to be provocative! Erykah Badu's vagina can save hip hop... I love the title! Oh yeah, and the blog is great too.
06/30/2007 at 4:29 PM
21.
sylque says:
all i can do is put my head down and shake it from side to side...smiling
06/30/2007 at 3:53 AM
22.
s.dot says:
son....i was sittin thinkin the same thing yesterday...i agree with you
06/30/2007 at 3:06 AM
23.
Legacy Leonard says:
Humanity......man....you make me chuckle throughout your blogs. Your sense of humor and wit is always so refreshing...
06/30/2007 at 2:45 AM