A Recent concert confirmed that I'm the worst kind of Hip Hop fan
Last week I came to the conclusion that Kobe Bryant and I are kindred spirits of sorts, no, I don't have a deviant penchant for sodomizing sub-par white girls in hotel rooms - but I'm starting to believe that my support for the brother, outside of his physical abilities, has to do with me literally feeling his pain when it comes to how he is perceived by the general public. I'm sure they exist, but I have yet to meet a person who has lukewarm feelings about number 24 - either people are die hard supporters of the guy bordering on compulsive apologists or they absolutely loathe him with the same kind of vitriol you hear when people talk about Hitler or being forced to reciprocate oral. It seems that my existence on this earth is hardly met with indifference either, there are people out there who love me to death and swear by this chronic pre-ejaculator like I was a stack of bibles or they pray on my downfall every Sunday while angrily clutching rosary beads when they aren't hoping that Keith Olbermann will profile me for his "Worst Person in the World" segment.
I wish I could tell you that being on anyones "Worst" list is unjustified, but that would be a bold face lie. I'm the worst lover imaginable, I'm selfish, I'm allergic to hugging, and wearing three rubbers tends to make women feel like they are the human embodiment of that "Outbreak" monkey. I'm the worst when it comes to having tact - there is a 6'9 gay guy who is usually my teammate whenever I play basketball at the local YMCA, great player - but when he gets the ball stolen from him I say shit like "I bet if it had some pubic hair your silly ass would have held on to it" and when he makes a spectacular slam dunk I belligerently scream "What a difference a gay makes!!" I'm the worst when it comes to diplomacy - a friend of mine almost got into an altercation with a gentlemen at a club recently, after a while when cooler heads prevailed and the beef was all but squashed - I walked up, pushed my friend to the side and said "What in the fuck is this shit? I don't see Louis Farrakhan around this motherfucker?!" and proceeded to punch the gentleman squarely in the mandible. I'm also the worst friend as well - a good buddy of mine once confided in me that he thought that he might have contracted herpes, so being that he is a huge Nas fan I found it fitting to continuously sing "Who's Sore Is this?"(He didn't find it amusing) A couple of nights ago, after I left a concert where Common and Q-Tip had just performed - I realized that I'm also the worst kind of Hip Hop fan imaginable.
Message to Q-Tip: "No new crap!!": One of my ex-girlfriends is a "Simpsons" fanatic, and based on my feelings on artists performing new songs - she directed me to an episode where Homer liked to scream out "No new crap" when a performer attempted to get a unfamiliar tune past their devoted audience. I know that I'm going to sound like an asshole here with my verbal flatulence, but not only didn't I want to hear anything that Q-Tip had coming out on the horizon - I particularly had no interest in hearing anything from "Amplified" to be completely honest with you. I'm aware that Phife wasn't with him so doing a lot of the songs that I wanted him to do was a tricky endeavor, I know that he's trying to solidify himself as a solo artist - I'm just a horrible fan because I don't give a watery sack of crap about any of that. I just wanted him to strictly drop gems from "Peoples Instinctive Travels", "Low End Theory", and "Midnight Marauders". Is that asking too much Tip? Sidebar: He still ripped it.
I know you're not the Roots, but come on..: Maybe the Roots have spoiled me over the years, but if a live band can't mimic the original recording to a tee, nuances, pause breaks and all - just scrap the whole fucking idea and just perform with a DJ backing you up. Q-Tip's band was decent enough, but if you are a dedicated Tribe fan you know that their music is littered with subtlety - a fact that didn't seem to concern the four gentleman backing up the "Abstract Poetic" as they ignored designated pause breaks in the songs that physically left me hanging whenever I tailored my dance moves around them. Also, improvisation is for MC's and Jazz musicians, I don't want to hear some misguided guitar riff in a classic Tribe joint: Tip, check your boy!
"What? No "Resurrection"?: I've never met Common, born Lonnie Rashid Lynn, Jr. - but I've been bobbing my head to the Chicago MC and his deadly similes ever since I first heard the playfully delightful song "Take it EZ", a 15 year period where I've felt personally connected with the brother.(No in a "need lubricants and a complimentary reach around" sort of way) Deep down, especially the past 5 years, I've known that I was the kind of fan that Common probably detested - constantly complaining that my copy of "Electric Circus" didn't even make a good drink coaster, that he shamelessly caters to women on some "new millennium LL" shit - sometimes even suggesting that there are two different artists living inside him, Common and Common Sense. But since I clearly understand his probable counter-argument, that we as fans have to let him grow as an artist and not to pigeon-hole the god - I have completely toned down my petulant rhetoric out of respect for the PETA spokesman. That being said, if people of my ilk can tone down the whining malcontent routine, he could at least throw us a collective bone and perform "Resurrection" at his fucking concert - not for nothing, but I'd be totally with him axing that whole theatrical routine he puts on while performing "Testify" for a smidgen of a verse off of "Resurrection". I could be wrong here, but as he ignored a cacophony of requests to perform the song, it almost felt like Miles Davis turning his back on the audience while performing, or Marvin Gaye singing jazz standards to a sold-out crowd who paid to hear his soulful classics - it just seemed passive aggressively combative.(I could be wrong) After Common's show had ended, the house lights came on and people scattered like roaches - I stood in the middle of a concert hall littered with beer bottles and blunt butts screaming "You Cannot Be Serious!!" on some John McEnroe shit. I know that I'm the worst kind of fan imaginable, just perform the fucking song next time buddy..
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Comments
1.
paula says:
you could be wrong you could be right whos opinions are these? if their yours its safe to say your either or because their only your opinions. we are a society so quick to give our opinion then say sorry. Say sorry for hurting someones feelings not because you have an opinion...
10/30/2007 at 10:07 PM
2.
stopthemadness says:
I saw Tribe back in 1996 in D.C. right after whatever album came after Midnight Marauders. (Too lazy to google and too tired to remember)
It wasn't good. Plus we were in the ghetto and it was kinda scary. Basically, I would have rather listened to the damn cd in my car.
10/17/2007 at 4:00 AM
3.
Yemanja says:
Common puts on one helluva show, even when he isn't the headliner. Could it be he just doesn't like that song anymore?
10/14/2007 at 3:33 AM
4.
katchin says:
I'm gonna agree with most of this. But I have absolutely NO problem w/ Common supposedly catering to women on some tracks. It's nice once in a while to not be referred to as a bitch, hoe, etc, and it's not a fluke, or just the standard love song.
10/12/2007 at 6:09 PM
5.
Cristin says:
I know EXACTLY where you're comin from.
The worse concert I've EVER been to was Nas. I KNOW WTF. This nikka showed up 2+ hours late and did litterally one verse from each radio hit and left. I don't even think he did all of "One Mic" which at that time was his last big hit.
Man, I was so mad I wanted to cuss/fight whatever... joe!
Oh and Shane I agree. Duel personalities are Bulls**t. It's just a cop out so they don't have to admit to doing switchin up they're style or persona for sales and mass-appeal.
10/12/2007 at 6:12 AM
6.
Stylus says:
yeah, you're the worst.
you probably scream "FREEBIRD!!" too.
10/11/2007 at 11:30 PM
7.
Shane Morris says:
You brought something else to my attention that I never thought I would know: Q-Tip still has a career? I had no idea. I knew TCQ kicked the bucket in 1998, and then did something in 2006 - but I didn't know that it was cool for Q-Tip to bring along whatever he was doing.
There are some artists that are better outside a group, and there are some that are better inside it.
Justin Timberlake did not need N*SYNC. (Did you check that out? I put the star in the right place!) Q-Tip needs Phife Dawg and Ali. Unless you start out as a single artist, and then ADD a group to yourself - then maybe you've got the right idea.
Secondly: I don't like the artist with two names and personalities crap. It feels too much like Prince, The Artist, The Artist Formerly Known As, (The Symbol), Coco... etc. Common to me also isn't the embodiment of "hip hop" that everyone seems to love. I don't really connect with his music as much as I connect with music of the likes of Rakim or Big Daddy Kane. I realize we're comparing two generations, but the thought it still the same.
Thirdly: T.I. and T.I.P. cannot BOTH exist. I'm from Atlanta - and even I think that midget it obnoxious.
10/11/2007 at 7:40 PM