Kill Your Idols: Revelations - The Girls
Ho hum. Again the girls outshone the guys on last night’s episode of American Idol. Though chinks appeared in Lakisha Jones’ estimable armor, Melinda Doolittle again signed her ticket to (Mom-pleasing) greatness. Caramanica and I will now offer random rap lyrics and unnecessarily catty comments about their personal appearances. It’s go time.
ANONYMITY
Jon Caramanica: If Haley is still around next week, she obviously has to sing "You Don't Know My Name."
Sean Fennessey: Who's Haley?
JC: She's more in touch with the keys.
JC: MOVE OVER ALICIA.
JC: At least she got dressed from the early '90s closet this week.
SF: She looks like she was hella dorky in high scholl -- like in color guard and the marching band and choir.
JC: man, it must have been awesome to be in color guard back in the '70s.
JC: I wish that had been her revelation: "I'm 43!"
SF: I can't believe we're even talking about Haley.
SF: She's deer meat.
SF: We might as well be talking about Nicole Tranquilo.
SF: RIP!
JC: No tears here.
SF: Get that hate out your heart.
SF: Sabrina Sloan better grow a personality and fast.
JC: What do you think her issue is?
SF: She's actually a cyborg sent to this world to assassinate Melinda Doolittle.
SF: The humans are winning!
JC: Is it the hair?
SF: The nose (sorry).
JC: Ouch!
JC: We can't all be Anistonakis.
ROCKAGLOCK
SF: How about Gina Glocksen making 14-year-old fake outcasts with bad piercings feel good about their bad relationship with their cats?
JC: She's mall-punk squared
JC: She aspires to mall-punk
JC: FYI — this just in from mtv.com: "I was really stoked that he gave it such a cool dubby arrangement," Zack Hexum said [about Blake Lewis].
SF: Well, thank God for that.
SF: Breathlessly awaiting the For Charity duet.
JC: Gina did come into her own last night, though.
JC: Even if that meant wearing fishnet wrist thingies.
SF: Antonella, wondrously scandalous past or not, needs to go at this point.
JC: She and Sanjaya need to so an underachiever duet.
SF: Simon basically told her "What a waste of sex appeal."
JC: No such thing.
JC: The real shocker was the musicspeak Paula gave her.
SF: "Watch those bottom notes."
JC: making clear distinctions between different registers.
JC: It's like watching Bravo.
SF: She's no Padma Lakshmi
DENOUEMENT
SF: So this is Melinda's to lose, huh?
JC: I'm not sure she's heard any songs cut since 33 1/3 rpm became the dominant format.
SF: And I'm not sure that even matters.
JC: Peggy Lee?
JC: When they do grunge week, she's gonna be a mess.
SF: Simon will find a way to tell us how "refreshing" she is.
SF: Doolittle does Stone Temple Pilots' "Plush"! I'm amped already.
JC: I think Lakisha is catching feelings over not being the teacher's pet anymore.
JC: She's slipping, missing notes, being human.
JC: Plus, her lisp is coming out more.
SF: She'll bounce back.
SF: The show depends on it.
SF: What about poor Jordin Sparks?
SF: Singing the wrong song, leading off the show, being mannish and playing football.
JC: Missed her calling on the Disney Channel.
JC: Maybe her future is as a duet partner with Corbin Bleu.
SF: A dream of yours, I'm sure.
JC: Maybe she thought Gina Glocksen was a good role model.
JC: Maybe she found out that the reflection in the mirror was, in fact, not her.
SF: Yikes.
SF: So Haley and Antonella are but a memory after tonight?
JC: I think Stephanie might have problems.
JC: Randy, for once, said it best:
JC: "She done sung it, it ain't gonna be sung no more like that."
JC: Plus, she always dresses for church.
JC: Nice upper-middle-class Atlanta suburb church, but still.
JC: Antonella's mistake was in thinking people actually are aware of and like Corinne Bailey Rae.
JC: And give Simon credit — he's being unusually restrained.
SF: I dunno, he essentially called Antonella a future porn star.
JC: "You've taken a lot of stick in the media. I think you've handled yourself well throughout."
SF: "Stick"!
SF: Freudian mind bombs are exploding across the country as he says this.
JC: That said, when Antonella said, "I wish the judges wouldn't compare me me to anyone else. They don't compare themselves to me," Simon clearly couldn't resist: "No, they wouldn’t."
JC: At least, that's what I think he said. Maybe that's my inner Siggie talking...
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Comments
1.
Louise7 says:
Melinda Doolittle the talented vocalist with a heart of gold. The album’s first single, “It’s Your Love,” was released to radio stations nationwide in SeptembeR. Keep you update with Melinda career at www.melindasbackups.com
09/23/2008 at 1:40 AM
2.
Louise7 says:
This past week Melinda finally finished the vocals on her CD! All of that happens quickly then we will see her CD on shelves this Fall! Also, keep your eye out for her first official single that should be hitting airwaves in the coming weeks. Melinda is going to be throwing a lot of music at us in the coming months so get ready!
New website to support Melinda Career. www.mdstreetteam.com come join us and get to the forum to read what Melinda have to say. She is a amazing singer.
08/12/2008 at 7:13 PM