Sean Fennessey

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Breaking it down, one single at a time.

Kill Your Idols: The Top 12 Sing Lennon & McCartney

Posted 03/13/2008 at 11:11 AM | Comment?

No excuses, we're a day late and a dollar short. Sometimes Life Happens, feel? But we couldn't ignore the game all together so Jon Caramanica and I are back in the building, scouring the singing - and for the first time, voting - results of American Idol. Hearts were broken, tears were shed and Jim Carrey was in the building, I guess. Smokin'.

Jon Caramanica (1:09:27 AM): SPECIAL LAZINESS EDITION
JC: I have to confess, I never used to watch the result shows
Sean Fennessey (1:09:58 AM): Would you fast forward through them?
SF: Or just read about the results online?
JC: Nah - just look online
SF: Wow
JC: I know
JC: Feels good to admit
SF: Simon Fuller is NOT happy about that news.
JC: what would I have missed? More Jim Carrey shilling?
SF: I was OK with Jim actually.
SF: Hasn't made a good flick in years, but he knows he's being crass when he is
JC: Dude, I've got Ashley Alexandra Dupre MP3s to listen to
JC: Can we just start with some straight up racist shit?
SF: Sure, why not Sunshine?
JC: Dear Ryan,
JC: DO NOT CONTINUE RUBBING CHIKEZIE'S DOME
JC: Seriously
SF: I keep waiting for Chikezie to snap and start dropping dudes.
SF: Just Bruce Banner-ing all the judges
JC: I'm shocked he didn't say something after the show yesterday
JC: SOAKING WET
SF: Heckuva performance though.
JC: Real hetero choice
JC: Just saying
JC: Two weeks in a row
JC: Just saying
SF: Let's get it out in the open
SF: Chikezie's ready to fuck
JC: ...
JC: Crazy that he and Syesha are the only two African Americans this season
SF: It is surprising.
JC: Real rainbow coalition
SF: Obvs RIP the Great Asia'h Epperson, who hopefully will sing "I'm Going Down" at my wedding.
JC: I can't even type, I'm so lacking the words to describe how I feel about that
JC: The only viable radio artist in the group, gone
JC: (though Brooke White is on her Fresh 102.7)
SF: As a friend texted me last week "America let us down."
JC: More than usual?
SF: Yeah, even Danny was pure fun.
JC: I miss Danny already
JC: Ramiele is no substitute
SF: And they nixed him for Syesha, who's a cyborg and D. Hernandez who's headed back to Yuma
JC: Strippergate really got him - I wouldn't have called that
JC: Vocally, there's no way he should have gone home
JC: He was fighting back the stripper dance moves, though
SF: I guess. The tremolo is not a sound I like and that was his mode.
JC: i thought he was in the top 6 last night
SF: OK, now you're crazy.
JC: There were like 8 train wrecks - he at least held the tune
SF: Gotta disagree with you there, I had no problem with the bottom 3 this week.
SF: Everyone but Ramiele was solid I thought.
SF: Even Carly, who I hate, kinda nailed it.
JC: Worse than Syesha? Than Ramiele? Than Kristy? Than the other David?
JC: it was brick city, kid
JC: Shoulda been a wrap for Syesha
JC: (I can't believe I called her for top 2 - Jesus, i hope no one bet on that info)
SF: David H. was better than Kristy and Syesha. No one else.
JC: Why is Ramiele so boring?
SF: BALLADS
JC: She's clearly cooler than even me and you
JC: Shook?
SF: It's true, she seems fun.
SF: Until they put the mic in her hand, then she glazes over.
JC: And btw, who told those kids in the crowd to wave in fucking unison?
JC: Like 5 times?
SF: OOOF
SF: That was tacky as hell.
JC: One upside to the "mosh pit" - they might actually riot and have the judges surrounded
SF: You think there's a SLOW WAVE sign that lights up below the applause sign?
JC: YES
SF: In that case there's def a FUCK SIMON, BOO HIM sign below that.
JC: Controlled by Simon
JC: Castro failed music class, btw
JC: Not a shock
SF: He can barely play guitar
JC: He's perfect
JC: A little talent is dangerous
SF: Just look at Syesha.
JC: Or Brooke
JC: Since when is not hitting notes a win?
SF: If Castro and Brooke and David Cook make it to the final 4 we know this instrument this is a big trick.
SF: And I like all of them right now.
JC: You see David Cook's hat tonight?
JC: I have a new name for him:
JC: SWAG MUSIC
JC: He's wiping the floor with Bjorn Borg over there
SF: He is, post-Lionel Richie he developed a big personality.
SF: What happened to our "word nerd"?
JC: No more word scrambles!
JC: Maybe he's been playing Guitar Hero 3 in his downtime
SF: Yo, seriously:
SF: That shit works.
JC: They also seem to have Amanda playing with Barbie dolls - is she ... cute?
JC: They finally dialed her makeup down
JC: I wasn't mad
SF: She realized she's her mother's daughter, maybe?
SF: Also, good body. Great jeans.
JC: I really had no idea
SF: I say that not as a man, but as an admirer of form.
JC: mmm hmm
JC: (paging Cardin McKinney)
SF: WOWSERS
SF: Hit me on MYSPACE
JC: Unrelated: the Spitzer girl got 2 million Myspace views today
SF: Good for her.
JC: And she checked her Myspace TODAY
SF: I'm proud of that girl.
SF: She's the next Fergie.
JC: Did she accept your friend request?
SF: Still waiting on that one.
SF: We're friends in my heart, though.
JC: She'll be working with JR Rotem in like 3 weeks
SF: He loves them white gurls.
SF: cf. Dirty Pop, VIBE, May 2007
JC: A classic!
JC: A quick word on the self-immolation of David Archuleta before we go?
SF: Yes, let's.
JC: He's 2 years away from a drug habit
SF: Good chance he's on Paxil now, no?
JC: Mormons no allow!
SF: That disposition (and the lip-licking!) is a dead giveaway.
JC: You think his dad hates Idol, wishes David were studying jazz vocals at the Manhattan School of Music?
SF: Is his Dad Dave Brubeck?
JC: I have no jazz jokes to make - sorry
SF: Also, I should mention that David Archuleta doesn't know the Lennon-McCartney catalogue...
SF: and yet made his name on "Imagine."
SF: That is some sucker shit, do your homework, child.
JC: Salty
JC: ROCKIST
JC: ha!
JC: A tip of the cap to Seacrest
JC: for the investigative journalism of the week
JC: "I know you had a stressful week the last week or so," he asked Hernandez
JC: "Do you think you overanalyzed your [VERY HETERO] song choice?"
JC: Way to go in, champ!
SF: His base dropped him.
SF: Just as our base has dropped us as we come in a day late.
JC: All apologies to Ryan, Tom, and you other 3 people
SF: (Hi guys!)
JC: Soaking wet!