April 2008 Archives
About This Whole Santogold Thing
Santogold: "You'll Find a Way"
from Santogold
Santogold: "Starstruck"
from Santogold
Look, I'm as in the bag for this Santogold album as any lazy music crit looking for something that doesn't sound like everything else. But, um, are we sure this isn't exactly what No Doubt did 7 years ago to ska and dance music? Slow it down, air it out, put a chripy refrain in there, give it some sass. Just sayin'.
Kill Your Idols: Neil Diamond Week
Tags: Kill Your Idols
Once more into the fire we go. Last week Jon Caramanica and I were delinquent in our recapping duties and we apologize for that slip-up. Sorta. This week we're back and while American Idol continues its very sloooow descent into obscurity, Neil Diamond is still dropping bombs on 'em. He was the mentor on last night's episode and while the events were a bit snore-worthy, the show remains a bemusing spectacle. More fire.
Jon Caramanica: do you think anyone missed us?
Sean Fennessey: certainly not.
SF: in much the same way i haven't missed any of the contestants this year
SF: one week is like one minute away
JC: it was actually Friday before I realized we hadn't done this
SF: well, you're a very glamorous man doing very glamorous things these days, no?
JC: my skin is so good from all the sleep I'm getting
SF: would it be rude to say i doubt that?
JC: the sleep, or the skin?
SF: skin
JC: wow
SF: it was so wonderful before!
JC: now you're just being mean
SF: not true!
SF: just punishing you for a missed session
SF: this is like community theater
SF: if we don't support it, no one will come
JC: is it possible that the love is truly gone?
JC: will next season be even worth watching?
SF: hard to say, the show is in a really bad place
SF: tonight was among the worst episodes ever, i thought
JC: beyond phoning it in
JC: you know it's tough times when Syesha, Who I Hate, is the best
SF: thinking the exact same thing
SF: she pretty much dominated tonight
JC: and yet I can't remember the names of the songs she sang
JC: Also, barefoot again
SF: she even seemed kind of likable since she figured out what her career is going to look like
SF: GREAT WHITE WAY BABY
JC: every time they tell her she's perfect for Broadway, she seems like she's laughing to hide the tears
JC: that's not what she wants - otherwise, she woulda went on that Grease reality show
SF: sometimes we have to accept our fate
JC: What up, Tamyra Gray
JC: I see you in Rent
SF: speaking of, tamyra looked pained to be recapping the fact that she had season 1 stolen out from under her
SF: by nikki mckibbin!
JC: so tragic, nikki mckibbin
JC: the original Jessica Sierra
SF: where's nikki's sex tape?
JC: on my Blackberry
JC: she's on her Gary Dourdan
SF: oof
SF: those photos were ugly
think Tommy Hilfiger will pay for his rehab?
SF: who's Tommy Hilfiger?
JC: officially found my Hilfiger hockey jersey - next Cool Kids show, ask about me
SF: i almost have nothing to say about this show
SF: i'm incredibly frustrated with the Archuleta stuff
SF: if they want him to have it fine, but he's been legitimately bad for three weeks running
JC: he has no life experience to draw on
JC: the thing I came to appreciate this week was the sheer ruggedness of Neil Diamond
JC: He made those songs sound a little ragged
SF: his voice is raw - that speaking voice is mannish for sure.
SF: impressive for a dude who wears shirts like that
SF: spangles and shit
JC: stunting
JC: the 70s were one big blur of slightly soft suburban flesh
SF: clearly we missed a decade full of fresh, fancy-free sexuality
speak for yourself
SF: you were knockin em out at age 5?
JC: you said "a decade" - i'm making my own 70s
SF: god bless your worry-free personal life
SF: engaged america salutes you
SF: i'm tryna plan a fucking wedding and i'm out here dealing with david cook's smug ass
JC: I bet he would gurgle some nice songs at the ceremony if you'd ask nicely
SF: for 30K!
SF: i could get bucky covington for 1/6 that
JC: and Mandisa for 1/15th that
JC: dude, you should get Mandisa!
JC: that's such a good idea
JC: Who's going home?
SF: I guess Syesha because Simon wields power
SF: but it should be Castro
SF: the bloom is off the rose
JC: I feel like Simon said what he said so that Syesha _wouldn't_ go home
JC: I think Brooke's a wrap
JC: What the fuck was she doing tonight?
JC: Also, what was up with that outfit
JC: I know you're singing Neil Diamond songs, but it is not necessary to recreate Neil Diamond outfits
SF: haha, it was ugly
SF: "i'm a believer" was worse than Smashmouth's version
SF: that's an accomplishment
JC: real Arizona with it
JC: just a mess up and down
SF: but i think she has a base
JC: they've abandoned her before
JC: Castro's base is bigger
SF: who's in that base?
SF: besides the jack johnson disciples?
SF: dreadheads?
JC: teen girls
JC: that guy's handsome
JC: just checked - dialidol has Brooke last by a smidgen over Castro
JC: Syesha to win
SF: well there you go
SF: isn't the fact that Syesha has made it this far astonishing?
JC: not as astonishing as the fact that she is now good
JC: Corinne Bailey Rae meets Minnie Ripperton!
JC: That's almost...correct
SF: i'm not going to lose my head just yet
SF: also: an epic paula moment tonight
JC: I wish we'd done this last week - I actually had lots to say
SF: alas, the world keeps moving.
JC: that's cold
JC: a cold METAPHOR
SF: now it's just going to be a boring show
SF: i have so many metaphors
SF: i'm like Supernatural
SF: i'll be doing this in 20 years
SF: even when no one's listening
SF: just like now!
JC: Supernat's more with the similes
JC: it's important if we say it's important
SF: end?
JC: sure, you old magnificent glamourpuss
JC: hahaha
SF: what a weird two weeks. andrew lloyd weber and then neil diamond
SF: who is this show appealing to?
SF: edgy church ladies?
JC: all those 10-year-old girls from Kansas whose parents take them to Broadway shows
JC: the ones you try not to step on when you're visiting the MTV building
JC: just to go on the record about this: I thought Archie shoulda sang "Think Of Me" straight last week, not turn it into a Maroon 5 song
JC: he coulda done it
JC: would have been good
JC: that dude's gonna make bad records
SF: there's nothing he could have done that i would have been into
JC: and i say this as a guy who thinks Clay Aiken's oeuvre is underrated
SF: i have to end on that officially
SF: that is nearly your mantra
JC: i'm strong
JC: i can take it
SF: you have to live it
JC: every day
JC: i've got nothing else to do
The New T.I.: Different From the Old T.I.
T.I.: "No Matter What"
from the forthcoming Paper Trail
It's not that T.I. has changed, per se. But the legal terms of his life have changed post-gun plea and "No Matter What," the meditative first leak from this summer's Paper Trail, is the sound of man forced to look at his life and ignore the themes that made him famous in the first place. There's no menace. There's no talk of the trap. And no mention of what he'll do with a weapon. In its place is self-reflection ("Even in solitude/there's still no hotter dude," "I lost my daughter and my partner in the same year," and the chorus: "I ain't dead, I ain't done/I ain't scared, I ain't run"), rolling church organs, and Slash circa "November Rain"-style blooz guitar. It's being reported that it's Danja on the beat (though T.I. references DJ Toomp on the song). If it is Danja, he supplies some typically strange flourishes here, too, like the screeching vinyl sounds not unlike those found on Usher's bizarro Rich Harrison-produced masterpiece "Dat Girl Right There."
Danja and Tip are developing an interesting chemistry: Last year's wildly disappointing T.I. vs. T.I.P. had few memorable tracks, but two of them, the throttling "Hurt" and the Halloween rap classic (yup!) "Tell 'em I Said That" were Danja/T.I. collaborations. Danja, perhaps even more than his mentor Timbaland, has a keen ear for drama, the ability to create circumstances that make his subjects sound equal parts hard and soft, triumphant and vulnerable. This is no small feat and if anyone needs it--for so many reasons--right now, it's Clifford Harris.
Maino: Still Rapping. Me: Happy About It.
Tags: Maino
Maino: "Hi Hater"
from the forthcoming Hi Hater
It's been a long time coming. "Rumors" was more than two years ago. Now signed to Atlantic, Brooklyn's Maino is dropping this Fall. I'm not mad.
Below, the "Rumors" video. You're welcome.
Kill Your Idols: Mariah Carey Week
Tags: Kill Your Idols, Mariah Carey
Jon Caramanica and I are back after a week off from American Idol chatter and didn't you miss us? You didn't? That will not stop us from doing this thing. And so now Jon (who apologizes for nothing) and I will attempt to understand the complexities of a very special Mariah Carey-coached edition of A.I. Let's go in.
Jon Caramanica: ooookkkkkkkkkaaaaayyyyyyy
Sean Fennessey: WE ARE LIVE!
SF: Would you like to take a minute to apologize to your adoring public?
JC: part of the Idol Gives Back $ went to my salary for the bye week
JC: if you were spending any time missing me, you should have bought a malaria net
SF: wow, using jokes from last week already?
SF: RUSTY
JC: I never got to use them!
SF: That's just how boring this season has gotten.
JC: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
JC: the most exciting thing about last night was the fact that Archie was wearing leather pants
SF: and tonight he was wearing a red leather jacket.
SF: unironically
JC: also, that Mariah did not hug Syesha
SF: I mean I know Glow in the Dark pops off tonight, but c'mon Archie
JC: he didn't bring it last night
SF: I've decided he's a mediocre, one-dimensional singer
JC: aka Xian
SF: He just fits the criteria for that show.
JC: Chris Sligh, in stores soon
JC: I'm buying that album
JC: RIP Mama Yamin
SF: Word.
SF: She blessed us with that gnarly-looking, incredibly gifted singer
JC: Your man was shaken
SF: My heart goes out to El.
JC: though what's with writing shit on hands this season
SF: Not sure, a little too emotional for me.
JC: it's hard to hate on genuine feeling
SF: Consider it done
JC: but we're really like 2 weeks away from Syesha pleading for votes on her palms
SF: Or in her hair. She coulda spelled out the alphabet with that mess tonight.
JC: Syesha, Whom I Hate, is still having a decent run of late
SF: She did well with 'Vanishing." And impressed nerds by taking the deep cut angle.
SF: Dangerous territory.
JC: Well, unlike her competition, she's probably actually listened to Mariah Carey albums
JC: ("Vanishing" is one of my joints)
SF: Yeah, clearly a disciple, probably made this week extra hard for her with all the hate MC was passive-aggressively throwing at her.
JC: Mariah had no love
JC: One faker to another - I SEE YOU
SF: I was impressed with David Cook this week. He actually arranged that, which was nice for a change
JC: Are we sure?
SF: Good point
JC: The stench is still on him
SF: He's basically doing the same song every week. Are we OK with that? It's not really a risk if you've done it successfull 9 times in a row
JC: on his Daughtry
JC: 2 million sold
SF: Puts me right to sleep
JC: fuck that - I'm riding
SF: He's not actually very good though, Jon.
JC: you're using my first name?
SF: I'm trying to get your attention.
SF: Reverse enjoyment doesn't work so well on this one.
JC: nothing reverse about it
JC: he can sing
SF: reverse reverse!
JC: he's a decent songwriter
JC: CORPORATE ROCK STILL ROCKS
SF: Pretty terrible lyricist.
JC: so's Feist
SF: POW!
JC: you asked for it, Sean
SF: But who would you rather fuck?
JC: I never really thought about this, but I wouldn't want to fuck any contestant this season
SF: Hmm.
SF: I think I'm going to avoid this one.
JC: Because Ilene will get jealous of your affection for Jason Castro
SF: I could be doing a phoner with Brooke White 4 months from now
JC: I've never heard of "a phoner" - that some new position?
SF: Aiyo!
SF: Jason Castro's hair can't possibly smell good, right?
JC: Castro stays with the lock butter
JC: He's going to be so famous
SF: Sounds like you've been hollering at him
JC: I've had time
JC: What do you think about Mariah's love for Carly?
SF: She knows she's not a threat.
SF: And if we're going to be frank about man-crushes, I miss Michael Johns
JC: I do not
JC: deuces
JC: He was on TMZ this week, not tipping a skycap
JC: fuck that dude
SF: I'm just into the music, man
JC: how do you type the sound of bongwater bubbling?
JC: I was thinking about this today - the person who benefits most from the ouster of Josiah Leming is David Cook
SF: Naturally
SF: Here we are still talking about Josiah
JC: I miss him
JC: He, too, was on TMZ a couple of weeks back
JC: AT MR. CHOW
SF: Ballin' for real
JC: Who did you think was best this week?
SF: Probably btwn Cook and Castro. Syesha was sleeper great, but judges were hating.
SF: Carly had what I thought was her worst vocal.
SF: She looked good though
SF: I wanna throw Archuleta down a well
SF: Brooke is cool
JC: No she's not
JC: She's getting entitled
JC: Not feeling it
SF: I think she's just like that. You know, the nanny thing.
SF: Lots of time feeling superior.
JC: Nah, she's not grateful anymore
JC: I like 'em grateful
SF: Says so much about you
JC: I can live with that
SF: Well Archie's still got the aw-shucks goin on. That's yr man?
JC: Like Cookie, for example
JC: He seems like he's getting a big head
SF: He does. Literally.
JC: But they ask him if he's single
JC: and he looks like a new puppy he's so excited someone might like him
SF: GIANT HEAD SYNDROME
SF: His skull is enormous
JC: No hairstyle cam save him
SF: Women are terrified of that
JC: I wouldn't know
SF: Meanwhile, Castro is smashing hippie chicks every night!
JC: That kid is money
JC: I can't believe I just said that
JC: But it's true
SF: Tell me more, Vince Vaughn
JC: At least I tapped Anistonakis
SF: Yeah, she's prolly a real treat in the bedroom
SF: TOO RICH
JC: I'm embarrassed to say this, but I thought Syesha was best this week, vocally
SF: That's yr wife.
SF: (I miss saying that all the time)
JC:
JC: I miss you, Sean
SF: [DEEP BREATH, AMERICA. TWO DUDES SHARING]
JC: I'm a feeling person
JC: The end?
SF: No word of Kristy Lee Cook!
JC: she was pretty decent this week
JC: she'll have 2 decent singles on a Sony Nashville album
JC: then dropped
SF: It was her time
JC: I will not miss her stylist
SF: Woof
JC: Jesus take the wheel
JC: Steer thee to a Forever 21
Somebody's Gotta Write About This Ashlee Simpson Album, Right?
Tags: Ashlee SImpson, The Neptunes, Timbaland
Ashlee Simpson: "Rulebreaker" (produced by Timbaland)
from the forthcoming Bittersweet World
Ashlee Simspon: "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)" (produced by Timbaland)
from the forthcoming Bittersweet World
So why not me? Ashlee, who is pregnant with the child of another "rock" figure who loves the occasional rap/R&B interlope, Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz, is releasing an album next week. The album's primary producers? The Neptunes' Chad Hugo and Timbaland. The primary songwriters? Hugo and Star Trek singer Kenna. The verdict? Some of that ol' white people stealing music! Tim, to his credit, will whore for anyone. Chad and Kenna almost appear to be making fun of Ashlee here. "Some say I'm a black sheep, cuz I like to sleep late." That comes from "Rulebreaker." That song also features this gem: "You don't want no problems, you ain't got no beef." This is inverse buffoonery of the highest order. From a distance, it's hilarious. Up close, not so much. FAIL.
Kill Your Idols: The Overload
Tags: Kill Your Idols
Your Kill Your Idols correspondents apologize for the lack of a chat this week. Said correspondents were overwhelmed, annihilated and bombarded with the suffocating four and a half hours worth of airtime the show received. Furthermore, in response to the "shocking" and, frankly, appalling elimination of Australian '70s baby, Michael Johns, we offer the YouTube clip of his audition. His stirring version of Otis Redding's "I've Been Loving You Too Long" is a fine example of where the quasi-rocking Johns should have been living throughout this competition. Instead he got stuck in an Arena Rock quagmire--with favorite David Cook--he simply could not overcome. RIP Johns.
Nelly: Still Pop Rap
Tags: Fergie, Nelly, Polow Da Don
Nelly feat. Fergie: "Party People"
from the forthcoming Brass Knuckles
Fergie outraps Nelly! I don't really know what to say about Polow at this point. By far the best pop producer on the planet.
Estelle's Shine: The Album of the Year (So Far)
Tags: Estelle, John Legend
Estelle: "No Substitute Love"
from the forthcoming Shine
Estelle: "More Than Friends"
from the forthcoming Shine
Estelle feat. Kardinal Offishall: "Magnificent"
from the forthcoming Shine
Lauryn's name has been thrown around a lot with regard to Estelle, the Brit singer-songwriter-rapper releasing her U.S. debut later this month. And it's true, not since Miss Education has a female artist so deftly mixed singing and rapping without a fumble. On "More Than Friends" she sings softly, casually for two minutes before letting loose a confident, if unobtrusive rapped verse. Never once does the construction feel unnatural. That sounds like faint praise. It's not. Shine, only her second release and the first in the States, is a terrific album.
Estelle hitched her wagon to John Legend's Homeschool Records through Atlantic and their singing styles aren't too far off - there are flourishes of traditional soul, a background in hip-hop that shapes many of her melodies, dashes of jazz, even some Cole Porter kicking around. But there is something that really sets Estelle apart from her American label boss: A subtle but clear reggae influence on Shine, from the tense rhythms to the occasional patois, that while just a minor touch, makes all the difference. Chalk it up to Estelle Swaray's Senegalese mother and Grenadian father. And where Legend is simple and polite, Estelle is instantly more: fiercer, funnier and most importantly, less heartbound.
Polow da Don's GarageBand Antics
Tags: Polow Da Don
Frankly, I'm even more impressed by this than I was before. Loops are the new compositions.
(Spotted@Miss Info)
Kill Your Idols: Dolly Parton Week
Tags: Kill Your Idols
Last night Dolly Parton brought her miniature frame and big personality to the rehearsal room of American Idol in our first mentor week of the season. But Dolly's clever mixture of sweet-meets-gritty country music proved a bad match for the nine remaining contestants, save a charmer here and there. Now Jon Caramanica and I will discuss who will be travellin' thru and who came off like a little sparrow. Let's go.
Sean Fennessey: I'm going right in:
SF: MICHAEL JOHNS I KNEW YOU'D COME HOME
Jon Caramanica: tell em why u glad son!
SF: I'm just happy for that old guy.
JC: finally, a song from the decade when he was really on his swag
JC: super duper 70s
JC: really scarfed it out tonight
SF: This is going to sound like a diss, but it's actually a compliment:
SF: He reminded me of Michael Bolton, A LOT
JC: not mad
JC: that guy's up for reassessment
SF: The scarf was a little extra, but those fuck faces he was laying on Paula, wow
JC: surriously
SF: I believe I predicted him top two.
JC: he won't make top 2
SF: He's got a long way to go catching up to the two Davids
SF: But it was really promising,
JC: it was nice for him to not be a rocker for a second
SF: For some reason the show's best soul singer insisted on singing Queen and The Doors.
SF: I hope that's out of his system.
JC: unlikely
SF: Not really sure what the R&B scene is like in Australia
JC: I don't think he knows any black people
JC: no one's ever told him its safe
SF: But he does live in Georgia!
JC: John Farnham!
JC: PURE SOUL ENERGY
SF: Is he going to a mentor later this season?
JC: mentor of hairstyles!
JC: (btw, got a haircut - so that's what i look like!)
SF: Congrats on that news - are you trying out for Season eight?
JC:...of BIG BROTHER
JC: congrats to James!
SF: Is it Skanks vs. Meatheads?
JC: just because I haven't had a girlfriend for a while doesn't make me a skank
SF: Stop ho'ing yourself! Have some self-respect.
JC: I've got plenty of self-respect
JC: for my indubitable game
SF: I have no respect for any of the other candidates on this show. After Josiah, Chikezie and Asia'h were ripped from us prematurely, I can only be suspicious.
hennessy328 (11:59:54 PM): And now that Johns is on his swag, I've got to be worried about him.
JC: least relevant cast ever?
SF: Probably.
SF: I looked deep into the soul of one of Archuleta's admirers tonight and all I saw was a barren runaway.
JC: they share in Christ
SF: Was Christ really into Adult Contemporary? I can't remember.
JC: do you really have to ask?
JC: that and Mac Dre
SF: [JESUS THIZZFACE]
JC: put your stunna crucifix on
SF: Kanye already kilt that game.
SF: How did you feel about Dolly tonight?
JC: tightly packed, as usual
JC: I think when she loosens her belt, all the hate flows out naturally
SF: Either that or the spanks.
JC: SPANX
JC: c'mon man
SF: Sorry, I forgot you wear 'em.
JC: Dolly's smarter than she lets on
JC: RIP Porter Wagoner, while we're here
SF: Word to Porter. Dolly is literally one the greatest American songwriters ever
SF: Great backstory, distinct voice,
SF: Also, an early adopter of plastic surgery.
JC: A friend once sent me a postcard from Dollywood
JC: If you stay less than an hour, you only have to pay like $5
SF: Charitable! Sensible! Humble!
SF: Just like Dolly.
SF: (I've watched Johns' performance on DVR 4 times.)
JC: If you could be a modified feature of Dolly's which would it be?
SF: Hmmm.
SF: Wig?
SF: Does that count?
JC: It does not
JC: I'm going with lips
SF: I'm not going to say breast.
SF: And I can't speak to her other assets.
JC: she won't let you
SF: Naturally.
JC: I would normally transition here to make a joke about one of the contestants who definitely would let you...
JC: But no candidates this year
SF: I'm not sure if I should be offended or not.
SF: I feel like maybe Carly Smithson would find me just Irish enough.
SF: Maybe I need a few more tattoos.
JC: if you could get over her pants!
JC: (or under)
JC: She was on her '88 shit tonight
SF: That was the most on-point statement Simon made all night.
SF: And she was MORTIFIED by it.
JC: she'd actually been ok the last couple of weeks
JC: this was sorta blah
JC: singing was decent, though
SF: Just bores me. Has since day one. Also, at the risk of repeating myself: She had her shot.
JC: song was tragic in the same way the Johns one was
JC: she won't make the finals, which are looking more and more like a David-off each week
SF: Repeat of Season two.
SF: Two gents.
SF: I think Cook may bhave peaked too soon.
SF: I'm not sure yet.
JC: they're already undermining him, making him shout out Doxology and Neil Zaza or whoever
JC: legal threats, i'm guessing
SF: I think it probably has more to do with Internet chatter that's he a faker.
SF: from the likes of me.
JC: his fakeness is what makes him so authentic
SF: Stop blowing my mind.
JC: no can do
SF: Quick reviews of other contestants
SF: Ramiele: Sweet, ineffectual.
JC: SNORE
JC: I love you, boo, but really...it's a wrap
SF: Kristy Lee Redneck: I hate you.
JC: she bit Syesha, Who I Hate
JC: the long dress
JC: the sitting
JC: she also went barefoot - CMON!
SF: Just ghastly.
JC: I actually liked about 60% of that
JC: maybe 40%
JC: but I hate her
SF: Brooke White: ack to the drawing board.
JC: baby, holler at Mindy Smith
JC: she'll show you how to do that
SF: Don't call me baby
JC: ok, hon
JC: that was worse than tepid
JC: she's never fought for a man in her life
SF: Ilene pointed out that she talks to the judges and America as if she were our nanny.
SF: "Oh, OK! Thank you! I understand!"
JC: and why shouldn't she
JC: she's like 84 years old
JC: at least 20 years older than you
SF: I am crippled by that remark.
JC: more crippled than Jason Castro?
SF: He needs to rediscover the light.
SF: He's in trouble.
JC: he was gunning for that Archuleta cake this week
SF: FAIL
JC: (also, did you see in that Chikezie interview that he calls Archuleta Archie and Cook Cookie? Amazing.)
JC: I'm adopting that as house style from this moment forward
JC: Tell Watford
SF: Will do. She'll be thrilled to hear you're still a meticulous pain in the ass.
JC: That's right
JC: Can't wait to do a typo count on the June issue
