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Kill Your Idols: The Final Three

Thu, 15 May 2008 13:03:34 -0500

The Branch Davidian firestorm is about to begin, but before it does Jon Caramanica and I must discuss the second-to-last episode of the singing competition, American Idol. To say things have gotten anti-climatic would be a massive understatement. So we won't say it. Let's get it! Sean Fennessey: Idol? Jon Caramanica: oh yeah JC: that show still on? JC: i'm all about SYTYCD SF: i'm ready, too. SF: Cat Deeley is looking right this year. SF: She's gigantic JC: Lacey Schwimmer and David Cook still an item? JC: that will be one big-foreheaded baby SF: i think he'll get over that chick when he's playing red rocks in 2012 JC: she's a win - i'm still riding JC: Cookie was whatevs this week SF: it didn't matter SF: this has been preordained for months JC: a fait accompli SF: he's also holding out for next week SF: he has to cuz the Archie brigade is gonna be heavy JC: the funny thing about Archie is that in all the footage I see of him in non-stage situations, he's actually kinda loose JC: possibly on the way to cool JC: not really, but you get my point SF: I DONT GET YOUR POINT AT ALL, SORRY JON JC: they're holding him back, son SF: that kid is the worst JC: let Archie live SF: was that on Reasonable Doubt? JC: Vol. 1 JC: sleeper classic JC: if that kid wants to butcher Chris Brown, let it be SF: "I really need you, boo." JC: that was tough JC: i was like, you don't mean that, lil homie SF: he shoulda done "Poppin" SF: that's the one JC: "Kiss Kiss" JC: IN THE SPIDER SEATS, YOU NEVER SEE ME! SF: think T-Pain should be a mentor next year? SF: holler at me Mark Harris! JC: he'd be like, where's the beatbox kid? JC: Mark and SFJ went in this week SF: They did. SF: Think they're reading? JC: maybe JC: i saw some AZ paper that does something like this JC: biters JC: we see you, AZ anonycritics SF: John McCain bullshit JC: Jordin Sparks bullshit SF: I'm still getting over the Archie/Chris Brown thing SF: that hasn't been broken down enough yet SF: that was an enormous moment that showed the disconnect JC: it wasn't terrible from a melody standpoint SF: doesn't matter JC: also showed that Breezy can sorta sing SF: he does a certain thing SF: which I respect JC: Archie's headed straight for Christian/Mormon pop JC: Sucks so bad SF: as if you didn't hate teen adult contempo enough, let's throw a little Jesus on top! JC: i mean, think about Zootopia this weekend - Miley, Jonas Bros, etc. JC: up against them, he'd be slaughtered SF: is Hudgens gonna be there? JC: I wish SF: I'm saying JC: That second album can't come soon enough SF: so many possibilities for the cover art JC: you current with Gossip Girl? SF: not yet! SF: one episode behind JC: but you caught the Hudgens/Efron joke last week? SF: oh yeah SF: that was fire JC: Jenny and her crew get the best lines SF: they're monsters SF: we should see if the writers of that show are into A.I. SF: maybe they can pinch hit for us from time to time JC: or the COSTUME DESIGNER JC: (to take my spot, obvs) SF: all you JC: you peep my Mary Quant game? JC: focused SF: wikipedia says she invented the miniskirt SF: i'm riding JC: as you should be SF: how do you feel about the end of the Syesha Mercado era? JC: I am only sad because I foolishly predicted Syesha Who I Hate for the final 2 all those weeks ago JC: and I was hoping to dumb luck into an I-told-you-so JC: She's just awful SF: yeah she really lucked into Final 3 JC: i don't even remember how that happened SF: i was shocked to see Ramiele and Michael Johns in the audience SF: I was like "oh yeah, that was this season." JC: She beat Castro? Brooke? JC: a race thing? JC: no Carly, I don't think SF: it feels like 3 years ago JC: seriously JC: they've been on TMZ already JC: so over JC: none of these people will make a great album JC: Cookie's got one trick JC: (a trick I like, but still) SF: the Switchfoot thing made a lot of sense JC: Castro will put out a Jack Johnson album that gets music placement on the next season of The Hills SF: he should be so lucky to get a song like that JC: i think he will JC: a stellar minimalist SF: i might vote for him next week SF: I've never voted in my life SF: but that's how much I loathe archuleta JC: so Cookie to win? SF: no, I think Archie has it in the bag JC: Cookie's beaten him on DialIdol like 3 or 4 weeks running JC: I think he can do it JC: him and his jowls SF: and his combover SF: first combover to win? SF: not counting kelly clarkson JC: not counting Fantasia JC: oh man SF: i miss you, jon JC: i miss you too JC: FIN

Live: Kanye West's Glow In The Dark Tour

Wed, 14 May 2008 01:36:21 -0500

Kanye West, Rihanna, N*E*R*D, Lupe Fiasco Glow In The Dark Tour Madison Square Garden May 13, 2008

Flashing Lights (Photo Credit) At the risk of opening on an extremely obscure note, The Glow In The Dark Tour reminded me a lot of the popular Disneyland ride, Star Tours. Just getting that out of the way. Last year Kanye West told journalists that his third album, Graduation, was a stadium album, designed to fill arenas and induce sing-alongs. He made no mention of the elaborate, at times convoluted broken spaceship/talking cyber-computer storyline that would accompany those filled arenas. But as is Kanye's way, one can almost always expect the most ridiculous extravagance. It's his shamelessness that has made him as lovable, as talked-about and as despicable--at times simultaneously--as any pop artist in recent memory. G.I.T.D. is a self-aggrandizing showcase for a musician with ego issues, but it's also a wondrously amusing visual experience, daring even. And, maybe more importantly, it's a vibrant musical accomplishment. Though the pink exploding volcanoes, flurrying stars and fluffy gray clouds that fill the screen behind West are hard to turn away from, I found myself LISTENING more than anything else throughout the show. On many of the songs, including an early set tour de force performance of "I Wonder" that lasted more than five minutes, West has fiddled with his tracks, slowing and speeding tempos, pushing vocoders up in the mix, revving the intensity where things might seem flat otherwise. "Flashing Lights," brightened and made even more enormous with a honking brass band, sounded like Outkast's "SpottieOttieDopaliscious" on steroids. Likewise for "Stronger" and "Can't Tell Me Nothin," two songs I've had a hard time understanding in the greater Kanye context in the past. They seemed like sore thumbs the first time around. But in a live setting, their magnificence feels earned and unforced. As I listened closely, to songs from Graduation particularly, I heard a terrific live album in the making, a thought I have to assume Kanye has already considered. If he hasn't, he should. But about that running storyline: It's a bit of a mess. I give him credit for attempting to break rank with concert formula--he rarely if at all pandered to the crowd directly and never once broke character. But that character, a shipwrecked intergalactic traveler accompanied only by the female-voiced central computer named "Jane" is a mysterious and self-serving one. Not once, but twice, Kanye is called "the brightest star in the universe," by interstellar beings. I assume he wrote the script himself. The pulsating setpieces and breathtaking sounds, though, are more than enough to sell this show and Kanye need not harp on his own awesomeness, even in the confines of a faux-narrative. Some other highlights: A raucous, downtuned "Get 'Em High" that was vocally screwed and chopped, a neat trick that 'Ye's microphone pulled off. He worked the same magic--this time he vocoderized without even changing mics--on "The Good Life," a song that sounds as thrilling and joyful live as it did last September. It is built for singalongs. I can still hear 20K people screaming "Lawry's!" The transition into "Spaceships," my favorite Kanye song ever, was the only one that made any actual literal sense in the context of the storyline and the crowd kept up with the song through the first verse, at least. And the expected "Hey Mama" tribute was softer and more yearning than a cynical dude like me might have guessed. He won the world over near set's end with the song. Also of note, no costume changes. Sigh. Some lowlights: Very few actually, Kanye is getting to that point in his career where he can throw together a bulletproof setlist. "Gold Digger" was a bit lame, particularly the gold-embossed nu-Princess Leia hologram (there's Star Tours, again!) swiveling on the screen during the song. Also, after the "Hey Mama" performance, Kanye sat down on the shifting, raising platform he'd dashed across all night and stared off as Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" blared. A moment of reflection after a draining emotional evacuation. I understand the concept, but it's really time to put this Journey thing to bed. Not interesting anymore. Also, 'Ye, no "Gone"? "But if they flip sides like Anakin!" C'mon, B. Work that in there! Approaching the show, I was far more interested in the opening acts, Lupe, N*E*R*D and Rihanna. They didn't disappoint. Lupe was fearless and more devilish onstage than I'd expected, racing between backup singers Matthew Santos (that guy needs a solo album on Merge) and Sarah Green (a Keyshia clone hiding behind big black shades) and bursting forward with killer renditions of "Paris to Tokyo," "Superstar" and "Daydreaming." N*E*R*D were even more aggressive, a fierce six-piece, including two drummers apparently recruited by The Roots' ?uestlove. Pharrell's group tore through a seven-song set and the newest songs--"Spazz," "Anti," and "Everyone Nose"--sounded genius. Also, the inimitable Shay: Rapping well! I'm ready for Seeing Sounds to be my favorite album of the year. Rihanna, an artist that will probably do a night at MSG on her own next year if things keep going well, was more confident and in command of her voice than I've ever seen her. It doesn't hurt that she's had some time to work things out, but her feline purr and dense stares are now more a weapon than a liability in her presentation. At one point she scorched through a medley of Beenie Man's "Who Am I?," M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" (which, if originally sung by Rihanna, probably would have been a mega-hit) and gasp, Lauryn Hill's "Doo Wop (That Thing)." And she killed them all, bouncing along with no pomp or circumstance. And she did well with older hits "Pon De Replay" (strange to think she's the same artist who did that song) and "SOS." "Don't Stop the Music" was also reliably buoyant, a crowd favorite. When alleged paramour Chris Brown came out at set's end for the remix of her stratospheric hit "Umbrella," the moment felt perfectly planned and off-the-cuff at the same time. The kids flipped for Breezy, bless him, and though they only shared a gentle hug at song's end, we could see the fire in their eyes. Young, famous love: It still exists. Kanye West performing "Heard 'Em Say" at G.I.T.D.

David Banner: Loves White People?

Mon, 12 May 2008 11:38:47 -0500

David Banner ft. Yung Joc & Chris Brown: "Get Like Me" from the forthcoming The Greatest Story Ever Told This video is more than a little confusing (is that Barry Bonds?) but I'm cosigning the R&B guest verse from Breezy. Easily outswags Banner.

White Soul Singer Certifies Her G

Fri, 09 May 2008 15:21:46 -0500

Duffy feat. The Game: "Mercy (Remix)" "D-U-F-F-Y, he crossed over just like A.I." Ugh. A NEXT artist in VIBE'S June issue (out now), the unassuming, blonde, Welsh soul singer Duffy is trying to get that Amy Winehouse money. Which is fine. She's got a specific shrieky texture to her voice that fits in nicely with a rising trend--the a pronounced, somewhat troubling white soul thing going on that Starbucks shoppers are clearly excited about it. Though Duffy is more Ronettes than Amy, she's very much in the same lane. The Game is a rapper that likes referencing other famous people, particularly rappers. Though he's not averse to namedropping a ballplayer or an actor, from time to time. The Game is talented and quite famous, particularly for a post-millennial rap star. But he's remained utterly street in presentation. He scowls. When not scowling, he sulks. To my knowledge he's never made such an overtly female-centric move. I'm not entirely sure who this song is for.

Kill Your Idols: Can You Tell We Don't Care About This Season?

Fri, 09 May 2008 14:50:09 -0500

Jon Caramanica and I, once again, will not be chatting this week. Mostly because we couldn't, but I suspect part of the lack of inspiration comes from the fact that neither one of us is very excited about what's left of what is likely the worst, most insipid season of the reality singing competition yet. Ratings are down a bit again this year, as has been consistently noted, and despite Ryan Seacrest's insistence that this season featured "the most talented top 24 ever," the three remaining competitors--David Cook, Syesha Mercado, and prohibitive favorite David Archuleta--are no more dazzling (likely far less) than previous top threes. There's no powerhouse like Carrie Underwood here, nor is there any Taylor Hicks-Katherine McPhee drama. Many believe Idol will go on forever, juggernauting its way through the Nielsen ratings for the next decade. But cause for alarm is higher than ever. Also, I'm really worried about David Archuleta's father murdering him onstage during the finale if David Cook snatches the crown.

About This Whole Santogold Thing

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:10:53 -0500

Santogold: "You'll Find a Way" from Santogold Santogold: "Starstruck" from Santogold Look, I'm as in the bag for this Santogold album as any lazy music crit looking for something that doesn't sound like everything else. But, um, are we sure this isn't exactly what No Doubt did 7 years ago to ska and dance music? Slow it down, air it out, put a chripy refrain in there, give it some sass. Just sayin'.

Kill Your Idols: Neil Diamond Week

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:57:55 -0500

Once more into the fire we go. Last week Jon Caramanica and I were delinquent in our recapping duties and we apologize for that slip-up. Sorta. This week we're back and while American Idol continues its very sloooow descent into obscurity, Neil Diamond is still dropping bombs on 'em. He was the mentor on last night's episode and while the events were a bit snore-worthy, the show remains a bemusing spectacle. More fire. Jon Caramanica: do you think anyone missed us? Sean Fennessey: certainly not. SF: in much the same way i haven't missed any of the contestants this year SF: one week is like one minute away JC: it was actually Friday before I realized we hadn't done this SF: well, you're a very glamorous man doing very glamorous things these days, no? JC: my skin is so good from all the sleep I'm getting SF: would it be rude to say i doubt that? JC: the sleep, or the skin? SF: skin JC: wow SF: it was so wonderful before! JC: now you're just being mean SF: not true! SF: just punishing you for a missed session SF: this is like community theater SF: if we don't support it, no one will come JC: is it possible that the love is truly gone? JC: will next season be even worth watching? SF: hard to say, the show is in a really bad place SF: tonight was among the worst episodes ever, i thought JC: beyond phoning it in JC: you know it's tough times when Syesha, Who I Hate, is the best SF: thinking the exact same thing SF: she pretty much dominated tonight JC: and yet I can't remember the names of the songs she sang JC: Also, barefoot again SF: she even seemed kind of likable since she figured out what her career is going to look like SF: GREAT WHITE WAY BABY JC: every time they tell her she's perfect for Broadway, she seems like she's laughing to hide the tears JC: that's not what she wants - otherwise, she woulda went on that Grease reality show SF: sometimes we have to accept our fate JC: What up, Tamyra Gray JC: I see you in Rent SF: speaking of, tamyra looked pained to be recapping the fact that she had season 1 stolen out from under her SF: by nikki mckibbin! JC: so tragic, nikki mckibbin JC: the original Jessica Sierra SF: where's nikki's sex tape? JC: on my Blackberry JC: she's on her Gary Dourdan SF: oof SF: those photos were ugly think Tommy Hilfiger will pay for his rehab? SF: who's Tommy Hilfiger? JC: officially found my Hilfiger hockey jersey - next Cool Kids show, ask about me SF: i almost have nothing to say about this show SF: i'm incredibly frustrated with the Archuleta stuff SF: if they want him to have it fine, but he's been legitimately bad for three weeks running JC: he has no life experience to draw on JC: the thing I came to appreciate this week was the sheer ruggedness of Neil Diamond JC: He made those songs sound a little ragged SF: his voice is raw - that speaking voice is mannish for sure. SF: impressive for a dude who wears shirts like that SF: spangles and shit JC: stunting JC: the 70s were one big blur of slightly soft suburban flesh SF: clearly we missed a decade full of fresh, fancy-free sexuality speak for yourself SF: you were knockin em out at age 5? JC: you said "a decade" - i'm making my own 70s SF: god bless your worry-free personal life SF: engaged america salutes you SF: i'm tryna plan a fucking wedding and i'm out here dealing with david cook's smug ass JC: I bet he would gurgle some nice songs at the ceremony if you'd ask nicely SF: for 30K! SF: i could get bucky covington for 1/6 that JC: and Mandisa for 1/15th that JC: dude, you should get Mandisa! JC: that's such a good idea JC: Who's going home? SF: I guess Syesha because Simon wields power SF: but it should be Castro SF: the bloom is off the rose JC: I feel like Simon said what he said so that Syesha _wouldn't_ go home JC: I think Brooke's a wrap JC: What the fuck was she doing tonight? JC: Also, what was up with that outfit JC: I know you're singing Neil Diamond songs, but it is not necessary to recreate Neil Diamond outfits SF: haha, it was ugly SF: "i'm a believer" was worse than Smashmouth's version SF: that's an accomplishment JC: real Arizona with it JC: just a mess up and down SF: but i think she has a base JC: they've abandoned her before JC: Castro's base is bigger SF: who's in that base? SF: besides the jack johnson disciples? SF: dreadheads? JC: teen girls JC: that guy's handsome JC: just checked - dialidol has Brooke last by a smidgen over Castro JC: Syesha to win SF: well there you go SF: isn't the fact that Syesha has made it this far astonishing? JC: not as astonishing as the fact that she is now good JC: Corinne Bailey Rae meets Minnie Ripperton! JC: That's almost...correct SF: i'm not going to lose my head just yet SF: also: an epic paula moment tonight JC: I wish we'd done this last week - I actually had lots to say SF: alas, the world keeps moving. JC: that's cold JC: a cold METAPHOR SF: now it's just going to be a boring show SF: i have so many metaphors SF: i'm like Supernatural SF: i'll be doing this in 20 years SF: even when no one's listening SF: just like now! JC: Supernat's more with the similes JC: it's important if we say it's important SF: end? JC: sure, you old magnificent glamourpuss JC: hahaha SF: what a weird two weeks. andrew lloyd weber and then neil diamond SF: who is this show appealing to? SF: edgy church ladies? JC: all those 10-year-old girls from Kansas whose parents take them to Broadway shows JC: the ones you try not to step on when you're visiting the MTV building JC: just to go on the record about this: I thought Archie shoulda sang "Think Of Me" straight last week, not turn it into a Maroon 5 song JC: he coulda done it JC: would have been good JC: that dude's gonna make bad records SF: there's nothing he could have done that i would have been into JC: and i say this as a guy who thinks Clay Aiken's oeuvre is underrated SF: i have to end on that officially SF: that is nearly your mantra JC: i'm strong JC: i can take it SF: you have to live it JC: every day JC: i've got nothing else to do

The New T.I.: Different From the Old T.I.

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:50:51 -0500

T.I.: "No Matter What" from the forthcoming Paper Trail It's not that T.I. has changed, per se. But the legal terms of his life have changed post-gun plea and "No Matter What," the meditative first leak from this summer's Paper Trail, is the sound of man forced to look at his life and ignore the themes that made him famous in the first place. There's no menace. There's no talk of the trap. And no mention of what he'll do with a weapon. In its place is self-reflection ("Even in solitude/there's still no hotter dude," "I lost my daughter and my partner in the same year," and the chorus: "I ain't dead, I ain't done/I ain't scared, I ain't run"), rolling church organs, and Slash circa "November Rain"-style blooz guitar. It's being reported that it's Danja on the beat (though T.I. references DJ Toomp on the song). If it is Danja, he supplies some typically strange flourishes here, too, like the screeching vinyl sounds not unlike those found on Usher's bizarro Rich Harrison-produced masterpiece "Dat Girl Right There." Danja and Tip are developing an interesting chemistry: Last year's wildly disappointing T.I. vs. T.I.P. had few memorable tracks, but two of them, the throttling "Hurt" and the Halloween rap classic (yup!) "Tell 'em I Said That" were Danja/T.I. collaborations. Danja, perhaps even more than his mentor Timbaland, has a keen ear for drama, the ability to create circumstances that make his subjects sound equal parts hard and soft, triumphant and vulnerable. This is no small feat and if anyone needs it--for so many reasons--right now, it's Clifford Harris.

Maino: Still Rapping. Me: Happy About It.

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:20:52 -0500

Maino: "Hi Hater" from the forthcoming Hi Hater It's been a long time coming. "Rumors" was more than two years ago. Now signed to Atlantic, Brooklyn's Maino is dropping this Fall. I'm not mad. Below, the "Rumors" video. You're welcome.

Kill Your Idols: Mariah Carey Week

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:01:03 -0500

Jon Caramanica and I are back after a week off from American Idol chatter and didn't you miss us? You didn't? That will not stop us from doing this thing. And so now Jon (who apologizes for nothing) and I will attempt to understand the complexities of a very special Mariah Carey-coached edition of A.I. Let's go in. Jon Caramanica: ooookkkkkkkkkaaaaayyyyyyy Sean Fennessey: WE ARE LIVE! SF: Would you like to take a minute to apologize to your adoring public? JC: part of the Idol Gives Back $ went to my salary for the bye week JC: if you were spending any time missing me, you should have bought a malaria net SF: wow, using jokes from last week already? SF: RUSTY JC: I never got to use them! SF: That's just how boring this season has gotten. JC: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz JC: the most exciting thing about last night was the fact that Archie was wearing leather pants SF: and tonight he was wearing a red leather jacket. SF: unironically JC: also, that Mariah did not hug Syesha SF: I mean I know Glow in the Dark pops off tonight, but c'mon Archie JC: he didn't bring it last night SF: I've decided he's a mediocre, one-dimensional singer JC: aka Xian SF: He just fits the criteria for that show. JC: Chris Sligh, in stores soon JC: I'm buying that album JC: RIP Mama Yamin SF: Word. SF: She blessed us with that gnarly-looking, incredibly gifted singer JC: Your man was shaken SF: My heart goes out to El. JC: though what's with writing shit on hands this season SF: Not sure, a little too emotional for me. JC: it's hard to hate on genuine feeling SF: Consider it done JC: but we're really like 2 weeks away from Syesha pleading for votes on her palms SF: Or in her hair. She coulda spelled out the alphabet with that mess tonight. JC: Syesha, Whom I Hate, is still having a decent run of late SF: She did well with 'Vanishing." And impressed nerds by taking the deep cut angle. SF: Dangerous territory. JC: Well, unlike her competition, she's probably actually listened to Mariah Carey albums JC: ("Vanishing" is one of my joints) SF: Yeah, clearly a disciple, probably made this week extra hard for her with all the hate MC was passive-aggressively throwing at her. JC: Mariah had no love JC: One faker to another - I SEE YOU SF: I was impressed with David Cook this week. He actually arranged that, which was nice for a change JC: Are we sure? SF: Good point JC: The stench is still on him SF: He's basically doing the same song every week. Are we OK with that? It's not really a risk if you've done it successfull 9 times in a row JC: on his Daughtry JC: 2 million sold SF: Puts me right to sleep JC: fuck that - I'm riding SF: He's not actually very good though, Jon. JC: you're using my first name? SF: I'm trying to get your attention. SF: Reverse enjoyment doesn't work so well on this one. JC: nothing reverse about it JC: he can sing SF: reverse reverse! JC: he's a decent songwriter JC: CORPORATE ROCK STILL ROCKS SF: Pretty terrible lyricist. JC: so's Feist SF: POW! JC: you asked for it, Sean SF: But who would you rather fuck? JC: I never really thought about this, but I wouldn't want to fuck any contestant this season SF: Hmm. SF: I think I'm going to avoid this one. JC: Because Ilene will get jealous of your affection for Jason Castro SF: I could be doing a phoner with Brooke White 4 months from now JC: I've never heard of "a phoner" - that some new position? SF: Aiyo! SF: Jason Castro's hair can't possibly smell good, right? JC: Castro stays with the lock butter JC: He's going to be so famous SF: Sounds like you've been hollering at him JC: I've had time JC: What do you think about Mariah's love for Carly? SF: She knows she's not a threat. SF: And if we're going to be frank about man-crushes, I miss Michael Johns JC: I do not JC: deuces JC: He was on TMZ this week, not tipping a skycap JC: fuck that dude SF: I'm just into the music, man JC: how do you type the sound of bongwater bubbling? JC: I was thinking about this today - the person who benefits most from the ouster of Josiah Leming is David Cook SF: Naturally SF: Here we are still talking about Josiah JC: I miss him JC: He, too, was on TMZ a couple of weeks back JC: AT MR. CHOW SF: Ballin' for real JC: Who did you think was best this week? SF: Probably btwn Cook and Castro. Syesha was sleeper great, but judges were hating. SF: Carly had what I thought was her worst vocal. SF: She looked good though SF: I wanna throw Archuleta down a well SF: Brooke is cool JC: No she's not JC: She's getting entitled JC: Not feeling it SF: I think she's just like that. You know, the nanny thing. SF: Lots of time feeling superior. JC: Nah, she's not grateful anymore JC: I like 'em grateful SF: Says so much about you JC: I can live with that SF: Well Archie's still got the aw-shucks goin on. That's yr man? JC: Like Cookie, for example JC: He seems like he's getting a big head SF: He does. Literally. JC: But they ask him if he's single JC: and he looks like a new puppy he's so excited someone might like him SF: GIANT HEAD SYNDROME SF: His skull is enormous JC: No hairstyle cam save him SF: Women are terrified of that JC: I wouldn't know SF: Meanwhile, Castro is smashing hippie chicks every night! JC: That kid is money JC: I can't believe I just said that JC: But it's true SF: Tell me more, Vince Vaughn JC: At least I tapped Anistonakis SF: Yeah, she's prolly a real treat in the bedroom SF: TOO RICH JC: I'm embarrassed to say this, but I thought Syesha was best this week, vocally SF: That's yr wife. SF: (I miss saying that all the time) JC: JC: I miss you, Sean SF: [DEEP BREATH, AMERICA. TWO DUDES SHARING] JC: I'm a feeling person JC: The end? SF: No word of Kristy Lee Cook! JC: she was pretty decent this week JC: she'll have 2 decent singles on a Sony Nashville album JC: then dropped SF: It was her time JC: I will not miss her stylist SF: Woof JC: Jesus take the wheel JC: Steer thee to a Forever 21

Somebody's Gotta Write About This Ashlee Simpson Album, Right?

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 16:40:39 -0500

Ashlee Simpson: "Rulebreaker" (produced by Timbaland) from the forthcoming Bittersweet World Ashlee Simspon: "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)" (produced by Timbaland) from the forthcoming Bittersweet World So why not me? Ashlee, who is pregnant with the child of another "rock" figure who loves the occasional rap/R&B interlope, Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz, is releasing an album next week. The album's primary producers? The Neptunes' Chad Hugo and Timbaland. The primary songwriters? Hugo and Star Trek singer Kenna. The verdict? Some of that ol' white people stealing music! Tim, to his credit, will whore for anyone. Chad and Kenna almost appear to be making fun of Ashlee here. "Some say I'm a black sheep, cuz I like to sleep late." That comes from "Rulebreaker." That song also features this gem: "You don't want no problems, you ain't got no beef." This is inverse buffoonery of the highest order. From a distance, it's hilarious. Up close, not so much. FAIL.

Kill Your Idols: The Overload

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:14:16 -0500

Your Kill Your Idols correspondents apologize for the lack of a chat this week. Said correspondents were overwhelmed, annihilated and bombarded with the suffocating four and a half hours worth of airtime the show received. Furthermore, in response to the "shocking" and, frankly, appalling elimination of Australian '70s baby, Michael Johns, we offer the YouTube clip of his audition. His stirring version of Otis Redding's "I've Been Loving You Too Long" is a fine example of where the quasi-rocking Johns should have been living throughout this competition. Instead he got stuck in an Arena Rock quagmire--with favorite David Cook--he simply could not overcome. RIP Johns.

Nelly: Still Pop Rap

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:15:22 -0500

Nelly feat. Fergie: "Party People" from the forthcoming Brass Knuckles Fergie outraps Nelly! I don't really know what to say about Polow at this point. By far the best pop producer on the planet.

Estelle's Shine: The Album of the Year (So Far)

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 02:48:02 -0500

Estelle: "No Substitute Love" from the forthcoming Shine Estelle: "More Than Friends" from the forthcoming Shine Estelle feat. Kardinal Offishall: "Magnificent" from the forthcoming Shine Lauryn's name has been thrown around a lot with regard to Estelle, the Brit singer-songwriter-rapper releasing her U.S. debut later this month. And it's true, not since Miss Education has a female artist so deftly mixed singing and rapping without a fumble. On "More Than Friends" she sings softly, casually for two minutes before letting loose a confident, if unobtrusive rapped verse. Never once does the construction feel unnatural. That sounds like faint praise. It's not. Shine, only her second release and the first in the States, is a terrific album. Estelle hitched her wagon to John Legend's Homeschool Records through Atlantic and their singing styles aren't too far off - there are flourishes of traditional soul, a background in hip-hop that shapes many of her melodies, dashes of jazz, even some Cole Porter kicking around. But there is something that really sets Estelle apart from her American label boss: A subtle but clear reggae influence on Shine, from the tense rhythms to the occasional patois, that while just a minor touch, makes all the difference. Chalk it up to Estelle Swaray's Senegalese mother and Grenadian father. And where Legend is simple and polite, Estelle is instantly more: fiercer, funnier and most importantly, less heartbound.

Polow da Don's GarageBand Antics

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:34:50 -0500

Frankly, I'm even more impressed by this than I was before. Loops are the new compositions. (Spotted@Miss Info)