If Girls Could Be Boys
I've been chewing on Beyoncé's "If I Were A Boy" for a good minute now. From the moment I heard the ballad, something about it rubbed me the wrong way, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. But thank goodness for Shawn Stockman's remake. All my 90's R&B heads will recognize Stockman as one fourth of Boyz II Men (he was the one with the long ass face), and it was surprising to hear so much as a peep from him, let alone a whole song.
On Stockman's rendition, he tells his woman to put herself in the shoes of a man, breaking down the pressures of being the man in the relationship without defending the type of behavior we hear B glamorize in her original version. It's a sincere response and a sentiment I relate to on a variety of levels.
The song doesn't make excuses for doing the types of things Beyonce only wishes she can do. Beyoncé's wishful thinking is based on the whole idea that all men are dogs, and Stockman's version concedes almost all of her points by not defending them outright. Turning off the phone and telling everyone it's broken because we want our "other girls" to think we're sleeping alone? Yeah, we've done that. Go out with the boys and chase after girls? Yep, we've done that too But when Beyonce says that if she were a boy, she'd know how it feels to love a girl and be a better man, that's probably when Stockman had to get up in the booth and do his thing.
"If You Were A Boy" is about letting women know that when it comes to treating the woman we love the way they want to be treated, it's easier said than done. The song isn't about how hard it is to resist other women; it's about the difficulty in loving one woman - the woman we want to be with. As Stockman sings in the opening lines, "If you were a boy/you'd understand/how it feels when she says your best ain't good enough and you know you're doing all that you can." In other words, can a brother get a break? When men are ready to settle down, they not only have to learn and adjust to a new way of life, they also have to unlearn the life they have lived; compared to the former, the latter is Everest.
Listen to both versions back-to-back, and what you begin to realize is the man Beyoncé is singing about being, and the man Stockman is singing as are two entirely different guys. Stockman's man is unfairly seen as the man Beyoncé wishes she could be, and therein lays the eternal tug of war between man and woman.
Beyoncé would like to think that boys will always be boys, and so, she wants to be one herself, if only for a day. But what Stockman wants her and every other woman to understand is this: Sure, boys will be boys, but they eventually grow to be men (no pun intended) and when they do, a woman should recognize that.
Listen to Shawn Stockman's "If You Were A Boy"
Listen (and watch) "If I Were A Boy" by Beyoncé
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Comments
1.
fdhobson says:
and to add on..the closing statement you said in how Beyonce believes boys should be boys, and that Stockman clarifies that that may be true, but they eventually grow into men..I want to even add that women sometimes let too many men who are stuck in the boy phase influence their decisions of all men when a GOOD man actually comes around.
11/12/2008 at 11:46 AM
2.
fdhobson says:
MANNNN.....I was just thinking of posting a blog on this....I wanted to get the male's point of view but i see you (and of course Shawn Stockman) beat me to it...good post man
11/12/2008 at 11:42 AM