Disappearing Acts
The other day, I happened upon Disappearing Acts, starring Sanaa Lathan and Wesley Snipes. For those who have not seen it, skip the spoiler alert below.
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After Franklin (Snipes) and Zora (Lathan) decide to let go of one another once and for all, Franklin goes into hiding for a year. In that year, he works on all the things he promised he would work on for Zora but never got around to doing. He goes back to school, gets his contractor's license, gets his mind right. Zora also uses the time to take care of the things she never got around to doing while she was in the relationship. In the end, Franklin pops up at her place out of the blue. Zora is shocked, and mentions she has not seen him or heard from him (with the exception of child support payments he would mail) in over a year. Nevertheless, she invites him in, and the closing credits begin to roll as Zora and Franklin play a game of Scrabble together. And scene...
********SPOILER ALERT*********
As the credits rolled, the question on my mind was this: How possible is it to pull a disappearing act similar to the one Franklin pulled, in this day and age?
Deliberately shutting a person out of your life isn't easy. Time always does a good job of weeding out the people we thought were going to be around forever, but such is life. It's not like you do anything to aid that weeding out process other than wake up and go to sleep night after night after night, until you wake up one day and realize someone who used to be in your life everyday, is nowhere around and hasn't been for a while.
In Disappearing Acts, Franklin pulls off something far more disciplined. When Zora calls it quits, Franklin not only leaves, he goes missing, which isn't that difficult for him. In the movie, Zora, nor the audience, is ever hip to where Franklin lives. She never goes to visit him. He's a construction worker, so his job location is ever-changing. In other words, he disappears so easily because he hasn't left much of a social footprint.
My life is nothing like Franklin's. If a girl I hooked up with randomly three years ago wanted to get a hold of me tomorrow all she has to know is my first and last name and access to Google. Not to mention, my name is printed in a national magazine every single month, along with the address of that magazine. Finding me is like spotting an afro in a room filled with cotton balls, which is fine. As a writer, the more eyes on me, the better.
But I can still put a limit to my accessibility. So what I have decided to do is the next time a woman comes into my life, we're keeping in touch like a couple in one of those World War II movies - long love letters delivered through the U.S. postal system and calls from untraceable pay phones.
I'm kidding, but think about this. The ability to disappear from someone's life is entirely dependent on what you give up front, which is why the next woman I get involved with is only going to have a cell phone number and one of my emails. No AIM screen names and personal email addresses; nor will their be any sober or daytime visits to my apartment for the first three months. If she comes over, there will be no giving of my exact address; strictly cross streets and vivid landmark descriptions. I understand it all sounds extra, but it's really a necessary evil.
In these days and times, we like to use everything short of two tin cans and some string to keep in touch with one another, when the truth is none of these new methods of communication - AIM chat, Facebook friending, putting someone in your MySpace Top 8, more than one email address - are not really necessary, at least to the most important people in your life. My mom and my best friends can get a hold of me simply by hitting me on my cell phone. It's the most immediate way to get at me. If there was an emergency, and I needed to be notified, I highly doubt anybody would hit me on my "wall".
Some may call Franklin's actions - and in turn, my own quest to mimic them - cold blooded or a cop out, and I disagree. Keeping a lid on the ways in which my woman can get a hold of me is not only about making it easier for me to disappear if things were to go sour, but it's also about trust. Trust that even if I disappear for a while, we will find each other again, and if we don't, we never were supposed to.
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Comments
1.
Vitaminbe says:
BIG FAT COSIGN!!!!!! I knew I liked you from the beginning, lol. I don't own a cell phone. I call it a new age leash. I remember everyone's phone number and if I'm not home when you call, guess what? Leave a message. And what's the point in me adding you to my MySpace or facebook?? So you can read my wall and status and ask me what I meant later? I'm not feeding that bear, so don't ask! I loved the book Disappearing Acts and felt the movie did it little justice. Good blog Mr Cummings. Oh yeah I liked your article in this month's mag.
07/28/2008 at 12:40 AM